Home
Authors
Tags
App
Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App
" I can't predict the future and I don't have respect for people who try to. "
Jackie Mason
Predict
People
Respect
Related Quotes:
" I have nothing but love in my heart and everything I say is just an instrument for laughs. "
Jackie Mason
Nothing
Heart
Everything
" I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something. "
Jackie Mason
Life
Enough
Me
" Did you ever hear of a kid playing accountant - even if they wanted to be one? "
Jackie Mason
Hear
Accountant
Kid
" I can't pretend that I'm a great student of the art of comedy because anybody that becomes philosophical about humour doesn't know what he's talking about. "
Jackie Mason
Great
Comedy
Know
" I've been watching politics for 35 or 40 years and you just never know. You can have one person win the Iowa caucus and then the whole picture changes ten minutes later. The same thing can happen again after New Hampshire. I have no idea what's going to happen with our country in the future. "
Jackie Mason
Politics
Future
Know
" I don't believe that anybody has come to a conclusion on why something is funny. It's funny because it's ridiculous and it's ridiculous for different reasons at different times. "
Jackie Mason
Funny
Why
Ridiculous
" Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe. "
Jackie Mason
Cheat
America
Rest
" It is more profitable for your congressman to support the tobacco industry than your life. "
Jackie Mason
Support
Your
Tobacco
" Predictions are preposterous. "
Jackie Mason
Future
Predictions
" If an Englishman gets run down by a truck he apologizes to the truck. "
Jackie Mason
Gets
Down
Englishman
" My material is as new as anything on the dinner table. What difference does it make if I'm 70 or if I'm 20? The audience knows they aren't getting any old stories from me. "
Jackie Mason
Difference
New
Audience
" My comedy doesn't come from any calculations and studies. "
Jackie Mason
Any
Calculations
Come