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" I carry a small sheet of paper in my wallet that has written on it the names of people whose opinions of me matter. To be on that list, you have to love me for my strengths and struggles. "

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" Live-tweeting your bikini wax is not vulnerability. Nor is posting a blow-by-blow of your divorce . That's an attempt to hot-wire connection. But you can't cheat real connection. It's built up slowly. It's about trust and time. "

Brene Brown

Connection

You

Trust

" Through my research, I found that vulnerability is the glue that holds relationships together. It's the magic sauce. "

" You cannot talk about race without talking about privilege. And when people start talking about privilege, they get paralyzed by shame. "

" To me, constructive criticism is when people take ownership of their ideas. That's why I don't listen to anything that's anonymous. But it's hard; when there's something hurtful out there, I still want to read it over and over and memorize it and explain my point of view to the person. "

Brene Brown

Want

Ideas

" Many people think of perfectionism as striving to be your best, but it is not about self-improvement; it's about earning approval and acceptance. "

" As a vulnerability researcher, the greatest barrier I see is our low tolerance for vulnerability. We're almost afraid to be happy. We feel like it's inviting disaster. "

" The moment someone asks you to do something you don't have the time or inclination to do is fraught with vulnerability. "

" We judge people in areas where we're vulnerable to shame, especially picking folks who are doing worse than we're doing. "

" I've learned that men and women who are living wholehearted lives really allow themselves to soften into joy and happiness. They allow themselves to experience it. "

" First and foremost, we need to be the adults we want our children to be. We should watch our own gossiping and anger. We should model the kindness we want to see. "

" Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be our best. Perfectionism is not about healthy achievement and growth; it's a shield. "

" When the people we love stop paying attention, trust begins to slip away and hurt starts seeping in. "

" If I feel good about my parenting, I have no interest in judging other people's choices. If I feel good about my body, I don't go around making fun of other people's weight or appearance. We're hard on each other because we're using each other as a launching pad out of our own perceived deficiency. "

" The intention and outcome of vulnerability is trust, intimacy and connection. The outcome of oversharing is distrust, disconnection - and usually a little judgment. "

" Social media has given us this idea that we should all have a posse of friends when in reality, if we have one or two really good friends, we are lucky. "

" Kids who have an understanding of how and why their feelings are what they are are much more likely to talk to us about what's happening, and they have better skills to work it out. "

" Vulnerability is about showing up and being seen. It's tough to do that when we're terrified about what people might see or think. "

" Guilt is just as powerful, but its influence is positive, while shame's is destructive. Shame erodes our courage and fuels disengagement. "

" Shame is the most powerful, master emotion. It's the fear that we're not good enough. "

" In many ways, September feels like the busiest time of the year: The kids go back to school, work piles up after the summer's dog days, and Thanksgiving is suddenly upon us. "

" Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do 'faith.' "

" I can encourage my daughter to love her body, but what really matters are the observations she makes about my relationship with my own body. "

" I'm just going to say it: I'm pro-guilt. Guilt is good. Guilt helps us stay on track because it's about our behavior. It occurs when we compare something we've done - or failed to do - with our personal values. "

" It's hard to practice compassion when we're struggling with our authenticity or when our own worthiness is off-balance. "

" Vulnerability is the birthplace of connection and the path to the feeling of worthiness. If it doesn't feel vulnerable, the sharing is probably not constructive. "

" What's the greater risk? Letting go of what people think - or letting go of how I feel, what I believe, and who I am? "

" When you get to a place where you understand that love and belonging, your worthiness, is a birthright and not something you have to earn, anything is possible. "

" One of the things I did when I discovered this huge importance of being vulnerable is very happily moved away from the shame research, because that's such a downer, and people hate that topic. It's not that vulnerability is the upside, but it's better than shame, I guess. "

" I don't have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness - it's right in front of me if I'm paying attention and practicing gratitude. "

" Waking up every day and loving someone who may or may not love us back, whose safety we can't ensure, who may stay in our lives or may leave without a moment's notice, who may be loyal to the day they die or betray us tomorrow - that's vulnerability. "