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" I don't want the whole of my writing or my intellectual energy given over to race because I have diverse interests. "
Roxane Gay
Energy
Intellectual
Writing
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" People don't want to think... I mean, they don't! They just want to say, 'Oh, okay, feminists are humorless man-haters,' and that's simply not the case. There are radical people and radical ideas in absolutely every movement, but that doesn't mean they define the ideals. "
Roxane Gay
People
Ideas
Okay
" Throughout any given season of 'The Bachelor,' the women exclaim that the experience is like a fairy tale. They suffer the machinations of reality television, pursuing - along with several other women, often inebriated - the promise of happily ever after. "
Roxane Gay
Television
Reality
Women
" We have to believe that we can hold different points of view without labeling each other bad feminists. "
Roxane Gay
Different
Believe
View
" I think Lena Dunham is a very bright and very interesting writer, and what she's accomplished at such a young age absolutely impresses me. "
Roxane Gay
She
Age
Interesting
" I have never dreamed of being a princess. I have not longed for Prince Charming. I have and do long for something resembling a happily ever after. I am supposed to be above such flights of fantasy, but I am not. I am enamored of fairy tales. "
Roxane Gay
Fantasy
I Am
Princess
" When I was a child, my parents took my brothers and me to Port-au-Prince during the summer so we could get to know the country of our ancestors. Because Haiti is an island, the beach is everywhere. Haitians are particular, even snobby, about beaches. "
Roxane Gay
Me
Parents
Summer
" I want to take the time to think through how I feel and why I feel. I don't want to feign expertise on matters I know nothing about for the purpose of offering someone else my immediate reaction for their consumption. "
Roxane Gay
Time
Feel
Purpose
" The first amendment makes it clear that we are free to practice religion without government interference. The Constitution also establishes the separation of church and state so that the laws we live by our never guided by religious zeal. "
Roxane Gay
Government
Practice
Live
" I was in love with the idea of love, so I created elaborate fictions for my relationships - fictions that allowed me to believe that what any given paramour and I shared looked a lot like love. "
Roxane Gay
Like
Love
Relationships
" When advertisers ignore diversity, it is because they don't think the lives of others matter. There is not enough of a financial imperative for those lives to matter. "
Roxane Gay
Diversity
Financial
Ignore
" Most of the serious disagreement I get comes through email or social media, where people are more comfortable. "
Roxane Gay
People
Social Media
Serious
" I think there are a lot of rules for women. We have a lot of expectations and a lot of rules for women. So we're expected to march in a straight line, and when we don't, all hell breaks loose. "
Roxane Gay
Women
Hell
Expectations
" If a woman wants to take her husband's name, that's her choice, and I still think she can be feminist while doing that. "
Roxane Gay
Husband
Think
Woman
" If I were ever to grace the pages of 'Vogue,' I would want my image retouched because the audience is so vast. There is great vulnerability in being exposed to that many judging eyes. I feel no small amount of guilt over this willingness to surrender my ideals. "
Roxane Gay
Grace
Feel
Eyes
" I would love for everyone to be a feminist, but I have to respect people's choices. If you don't want to be a feminist and don't want to claim feminism, that's entirely your right. "
Roxane Gay
Respect
Love
You
" I have never been married. I don't know if I will ever marry, though I hope to. When I am asked why I have not married, I explain that my parents have been happily married for 42 years. The bar feels so very high for that kind of commitment. "
Roxane Gay
Parents
Know
I Am
" I keep trying to imagine a universe in which too many public figures declaring themselves feminists would be a bad thing. "
Roxane Gay
Trying
Keep
Bad
" Pink is my favourite colour. I used to say my favourite colour was black to be cool, but it is pink - all shades of pink. If I have an accessory, it is probably pink. "
Roxane Gay
Shades
Cool
Say
" No one is helped when cultural critics use their voices irresponsibly. "
Roxane Gay
Critics
Voices
Use
" The expansive anarchy of the Internet continues to lull us into believing that, because we can see something, that something should be seen. Because we can say something, there is something that must be said. "
Roxane Gay
Anarchy
See
Said
" It's so hard to write about countries like Haiti because there's truths behind the misperceptions people have. But there's so much more. There are multiple truths. "
Roxane Gay
Hard
Like
People
" After the Boston Marathon bombings, people shared grief and outrage on social media. "
Roxane Gay
People
Social Media
Grief
" It's an amusing idea to some, this feminism thing - this audacious notion that women should be able to move through the world as freely, and enjoy the same inalienable rights and bodily autonomy, as men. At least, that's the impression given when feminism and feminists are all too often the targets of lazy humor. "
Roxane Gay
Lazy
Enjoy
Women
" I think it was really entering my 30s that I began to embrace feminism and call myself a feminist. "
Roxane Gay
Myself
Call
Embrace
" For celebrities, privacy is utterly nonexistent. You are asked intrusive questions about your personal life. You can be photographed at any moment. "
Roxane Gay
Life
You
Questions
" This is the real problem feminism faces. Too many people are willfully ignorant about what the word means and what the movement aims to achieve. "
Roxane Gay
Ignorant
People
Achieve
" It would be easy to assume that the open letter is a symptom of the Internet age. Such is not the case. In 1774, Benjamin Franklin wrote an open letter to the prime minister of Great Britain, Lord North - a satirical call for the imposition of martial law in the colonies. "
Roxane Gay
Easy
Great
Internet
" Placing Margaret Sanger on the $20 bill will remind us of what she has done for women and our reproductive health and how the fight for reproductive freedom is an ongoing one. "
Roxane Gay
Women
She
Health
" There are all kinds of people who continue to be largely ignored by advertisers, whose lives largely go unseen. They deserve their moment. "
Roxane Gay
Whose
People
Deserve
" My parents have been married for 42 years. Their marriage has been - from what I can see - a happy one. "
Roxane Gay
Marriage
See
Happy