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" No one is helped when cultural critics use their voices irresponsibly. "
Roxane Gay
Critics
Voices
Use
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" We all have our vanities. The retouching magazines like 'Vogue' do is the professional version of the retouching we do when we, for example, apply Instagram filters to the pictures we take and share on our social networks. "
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" It's so hard to write about countries like Haiti because there's truths behind the misperceptions people have. But there's so much more. There are multiple truths. "
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" Placing Margaret Sanger on the $20 bill will remind us of what she has done for women and our reproductive health and how the fight for reproductive freedom is an ongoing one. "
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" Most open letters undoubtedly come from a good place, rising out of genuine outrage or concern or care. There is, admittedly, also a smugness to most open letters: a sense that we, as the writers of such letters, know better than those to whom the letters are addressed. We will impart our opinions to you, with or without your consent. "
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" Internet outrage can seem mindless, but it rarely is. To make that assumption is dismissive. There's something beneath the outrage - an unwillingness to be silent in the face of ignorance, hatred or injustice. Outrage may not always be productive, but it is far better than silence. "
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Far
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" Want nothing but the best for your friends because when your friends are happy and successful, it's probably going to be easier for you to be happy. "
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Happy
Best
Be Happy
" In Hollywood, a normal-size body is unruly. "
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Hollywood
Body
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" I think it was really entering my 30s that I began to embrace feminism and call myself a feminist. "
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Myself
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Embrace
" The open letter has always been an interesting rhetorical strategy - a way of delivering a pointed message to a specific individual or group while also reaching a wide audience. "
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Audience
Interesting
Strategy
" I have never dreamed of being a princess. I have not longed for Prince Charming. I have and do long for something resembling a happily ever after. I am supposed to be above such flights of fantasy, but I am not. I am enamored of fairy tales. "
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Fantasy
I Am
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" You cannot reason with people who don't recognize the humanity in all of us. "
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Reason
Who
" Definitely, there is a sense in my writing that people now know me in a personal way. And to an extent, that's true because I write about very personal things, and I use the personal often to contextualize some of these sociopolitical issues that we're dealing with. And to an extent, they're right. They know something about me. "
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Know
Way
Writing
" I reject the idea that when young women make choices with which we disagree, they are acting without autonomy. "
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Acting
Young
Women
" When I drive to work, I listen to thuggish rap at a very loud volume, even though the lyrics are degrading to women and offend me to my core. I am mortified by my music choices. "
Roxane Gay
Choices
Work
Women
" Love your friends' kids, even if you don't want or like children. Just do it. "
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Children
Want
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" I try to understand faith and religion. I was raised by wonderful Catholic parents who were deeply faithful and taught us that God is a God of love. "
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Try
Religion
Parents
" I have never been married. I don't know if I will ever marry, though I hope to. When I am asked why I have not married, I explain that my parents have been happily married for 42 years. The bar feels so very high for that kind of commitment. "
Roxane Gay
Parents
Know
I Am
" I have a job I'm pretty good at. I am in charge of things. I am on committees. People respect me and take my counsel. I want to be strong and professional, but I resent how hard I have to work to be taken seriously, to receive a fraction of the consideration I might otherwise receive. "
Roxane Gay
Job
Me
Work
" It sometimes feels like the workplace is immune from social upheaval. We go to work and do the best we can, and at the end of the day, we return to our lives. We don't abandon who we are, however, when we begin and end our workday. Who we are shapes how we are perceived in the workplace and, in turn, how we perform in the workplace. "
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Best
End
End Of The Day
" I think that everyone in one way or another has some sort of body issue. There's something about themselves physically that they're not happy with, that they're ashamed of, that they keep constantly trying to change. "
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Think
Trying
Change
" Demands for solidarity can quickly turn into demands for groupthink, making it difficult to express nuance. "
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Nuance
Turn
Solidarity
" I think the world is ambivalent about feminism. So I can't blame college students. I think they're reflecting the greater culture's attitude toward feminism. So what I can do is, in ways that are appropriate, advocate for feminism and help the students learn what feminism is about. "
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Blame
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" I don't want the whole of my writing or my intellectual energy given over to race because I have diverse interests. "
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Energy
Intellectual
Writing
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Historical
Many
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Ever
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Might
" I love, but I am not entirely sure how to be loved: how to be seen and known for the utterly flawed woman I am. It demands surrender. It demands acknowledging that I am not perfect, but perhaps I deserve affection anyway. "
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I Am
Woman
Not Perfect
" I want to take the time to think through how I feel and why I feel. I don't want to feign expertise on matters I know nothing about for the purpose of offering someone else my immediate reaction for their consumption. "
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" I was in love with the idea of love, so I created elaborate fictions for my relationships - fictions that allowed me to believe that what any given paramour and I shared looked a lot like love. "
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" The first amendment makes it clear that we are free to practice religion without government interference. The Constitution also establishes the separation of church and state so that the laws we live by our never guided by religious zeal. "
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Government
Practice
Live
" There are all kinds of people who continue to be largely ignored by advertisers, whose lives largely go unseen. They deserve their moment. "
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Whose
People
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