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" I don't want to sit until I'm 90 with people running around after me. I'm not one for sitting on the couch. "

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" I'd rather do community service than sit and write a load of Christmas cards. "

" I like to travel, and I would love to be fluent in at least four languages. "

" I know it's a cliche, but I didn't want to work in an office. "

" I think it's bad for fellas when they lose their mothers. Mine was such a character. Oh it was sad, really sad. And, with her gone, the family home was gone, so what was left of any roots I had were completely dug up. "

" I don't like awards ceremonies. I'd sooner go to the pub with mates I've known for years. "

" It's become normal for me to walk on set as Popeye, Frankenstein or an Elf or even a chicken. "

" I've got four dogs, eight chickens, 10 sheep and six pigs. "

" I don't want to sound like Catherine Cookson but I've worked since I was eight, with a paper round and in a fruit and veg shop. Taking a pay cut won't demotivate me, not at all. It's not about money in the first place. It's about the job. "

" Channel 4 are a great bunch of people to work with and the crew are lovely. Working at ITV was like being in the court of Caligula. "

" I was Popeye mad when I was a kid, and I'd eat spinach until the cows came home. "

" Taking a pay cut won't demotivate me, not at all. It's not about money in the first place. It's about the job. "

" I only like doing live telly. It's great because you go in and do it and then go home. No edit, no retakes. "

" When my dog Buster died, I couldn't get over it. I was in bits. "

" I like working with kids; they keep you going. "

" I love looking after animals. I find it very enjoyable. "

" Times are hard and friends are few. "

" I still consider myself working class. I know my circumstances have changed dramatically since I was growing up back in Birkenhead. "

" I was a really picky eater as a child. Because I was obsessed by Popeye, my mum and aunts would put my food in a can to represent spinach and we'd hum the Popeye tune and then I'd happily eat it. "

" The worst drivers are women in people carriers, men in white vans and anyone in a baseball cap. That's just about everyone. "

" The person I always enjoy having a meal with is Cilla Black. I might not see her for months, but then I'll pick her up at her flat, and we'll go to a restaurant, and it's like I've seen her that morning. "

" Writing is such a solitary existence, and I can only do it late at night. "

" Mum and Dad died of heart problems, my grandparents died of it, my sister has had mini strokes, my brother has had a heart attack - it's genetic; there's nothing I can do. "

" I enjoyed school - although I ran away on the first day. I'd reminded the teacher that it was nearly time for 'Watch With Mother' on TV. "

" I don't live with people, that's why my relationships last. I'm not romantic. Even when I was a teenager if somebody asked if they could hold my hand I'd say, - no, it's not heavy, I can hold it myself, thank you'. "

" I am quite happy to take a cut. You've got to, if you want to work and continue working. "

" If I wanted your opinion, I'd slap it outta ya. "

" I was born late - what my mother calls the last kick of a dying horse. There's three of us children, but I'm 13 or 14 years younger than my brother and sister. "

" I go in the butchers and there's not a lot of meat I can eat these days, with having all the animals. "

" Comedy, your funny bone, is formed in childhood. "

" I'm not a businessman. I could pack it in, but I like work. I don't want to sound like Catherine Cookson, but I've worked since I was eight, with a paper round and in a fruit and veg shop. "