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" Comedy, your funny bone, is formed in childhood. "

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" I enjoyed school - although I ran away on the first day. I'd reminded the teacher that it was nearly time for 'Watch With Mother' on TV. "

" The worst drivers are women in people carriers, men in white vans and anyone in a baseball cap. That's just about everyone. "

" I was born late - what my mother calls the last kick of a dying horse. There's three of us children, but I'm 13 or 14 years younger than my brother and sister. "

" I dress up as a middle-aged prostitute and do a game show. "

" I don't live with people, that's why my relationships last. I'm not romantic. Even when I was a teenager if somebody asked if they could hold my hand I'd say, - no, it's not heavy, I can hold it myself, thank you'. "

" I don't go for glamour roles. "

" I'm not a businessman. I could pack it in, but I like work. I don't want to sound like Catherine Cookson, but I've worked since I was eight, with a paper round and in a fruit and veg shop. "

" I love looking after animals. I find it very enjoyable. "

" I don't want to sound like Catherine Cookson but I've worked since I was eight, with a paper round and in a fruit and veg shop. Taking a pay cut won't demotivate me, not at all. It's not about money in the first place. It's about the job. "

" I like to travel, and I would love to be fluent in at least four languages. "

" I can eat beef, provided it's minced in disguise. I couldn't eat a gammon steak. Forget it. "

" Mum and Dad died of heart problems, my grandparents died of it, my sister has had mini strokes, my brother has had a heart attack - it's genetic; there's nothing I can do. "

" I don't like awards ceremonies. I'd sooner go to the pub with mates I've known for years. "

" I think it's bad for fellas when they lose their mothers. Mine was such a character. Oh it was sad, really sad. And, with her gone, the family home was gone, so what was left of any roots I had were completely dug up. "

" It's become normal for me to walk on set as Popeye, Frankenstein or an Elf or even a chicken. "

" I make a wonderful cure-all called Four Thieves, just like my mum did. It's cider vinegar, 36 cloves of garlic and four herbs, representing four looters of plague victims' homes in 1665 who had their sentences reduced from burning at the stake to hanging for explaining the recipe that kept them from catching the plague. "

" I go in the butchers and there's not a lot of meat I can eat these days, with having all the animals. "

" I am quite happy to take a cut. You've got to, if you want to work and continue working. "

" I was Popeye mad when I was a kid, and I'd eat spinach until the cows came home. "

" Times are hard and friends are few. "

" I'd rather do community service than sit and write a load of Christmas cards. "

" Writing is such a solitary existence, and I can only do it late at night. "

" When my dog Buster died, I couldn't get over it. I was in bits. "

" The person I always enjoy having a meal with is Cilla Black. I might not see her for months, but then I'll pick her up at her flat, and we'll go to a restaurant, and it's like I've seen her that morning. "

" I only like doing live telly. It's great because you go in and do it and then go home. No edit, no retakes. "

" I was a really picky eater as a child. Because I was obsessed by Popeye, my mum and aunts would put my food in a can to represent spinach and we'd hum the Popeye tune and then I'd happily eat it. "

" I've got four dogs, eight chickens, 10 sheep and six pigs. "

" Every week I have a disaster in my kitchen. The fire alarm goes off repeatedly. But it doesn't stop me being adventurous. "

" I don't want to sit until I'm 90 with people running around after me. I'm not one for sitting on the couch. "

" I still consider myself working class. I know my circumstances have changed dramatically since I was growing up back in Birkenhead. "