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" When my dog Buster died, I couldn't get over it. I was in bits. "

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" I like to travel, and I would love to be fluent in at least four languages. "

" I went to work for the Civil Service. I'd wanted to work for the Ministry of Defence because I had some far-fetched idea that it had something to do with the Avengers, but I ended up in Social Security. "

" I don't want to sit until I'm 90 with people running around after me. I'm not one for sitting on the couch. "

" Channel 4 are a great bunch of people to work with and the crew are lovely. Working at ITV was like being in the court of Caligula. "

" I'd rather do community service than sit and write a load of Christmas cards. "

" Every week I have a disaster in my kitchen. The fire alarm goes off repeatedly. But it doesn't stop me being adventurous. "

" Mum and Dad died of heart problems, my grandparents died of it, my sister has had mini strokes, my brother has had a heart attack - it's genetic; there's nothing I can do. "

" Comedy, your funny bone, is formed in childhood. "

" I love looking after animals. I find it very enjoyable. "

" I think it's bad for fellas when they lose their mothers. Mine was such a character. Oh it was sad, really sad. And, with her gone, the family home was gone, so what was left of any roots I had were completely dug up. "

" I was Popeye mad when I was a kid, and I'd eat spinach until the cows came home. "

" Writing is such a solitary existence, and I can only do it late at night. "

" I enjoyed school - although I ran away on the first day. I'd reminded the teacher that it was nearly time for 'Watch With Mother' on TV. "

" I can eat beef, provided it's minced in disguise. I couldn't eat a gammon steak. Forget it. "

" I don't go for glamour roles. "

" I only like doing live telly. It's great because you go in and do it and then go home. No edit, no retakes. "

" Taking a pay cut won't demotivate me, not at all. It's not about money in the first place. It's about the job. "

" I still consider myself working class. I know my circumstances have changed dramatically since I was growing up back in Birkenhead. "

" I like working with kids; they keep you going. "

" You can draw the character out of pets, and you can make them your friends, but they are animals, and they have to be allowed to live the lives of animals. "

" The worst drivers are women in people carriers, men in white vans and anyone in a baseball cap. That's just about everyone. "

" I was born late - what my mother calls the last kick of a dying horse. There's three of us children, but I'm 13 or 14 years younger than my brother and sister. "

" I dress up as a middle-aged prostitute and do a game show. "

" I don't want to sound like Catherine Cookson but I've worked since I was eight, with a paper round and in a fruit and veg shop. Taking a pay cut won't demotivate me, not at all. It's not about money in the first place. It's about the job. "

" I go in the butchers and there's not a lot of meat I can eat these days, with having all the animals. "

" I am quite happy to take a cut. You've got to, if you want to work and continue working. "

" My primary school teacher once poured a bottle of curdled school milk forcefully down my throat. Then I threw it up all over her suede shoes. I'd rather have drunk from the spittoon in Barney's barber shop. "

" I was a really picky eater as a child. Because I was obsessed by Popeye, my mum and aunts would put my food in a can to represent spinach and we'd hum the Popeye tune and then I'd happily eat it. "

" I don't like awards ceremonies. I'd sooner go to the pub with mates I've known for years. "

" If I wanted your opinion, I'd slap it outta ya. "