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" I had a tightly knit group of female friends in elementary school - we called ourselves the Sensational Six. "

Emily V. Gordon

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" Hindsight is always 20/20, but I imagine a lot of married and divorced people have insights to share about how they felt during their engagement. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Balanced, passionate, grounded people are the ones whose careers are ultimately the most successful. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Marriage isn't just about two people who fit together well. It's about two people who figure out how to fit together well. "

Emily V. Gordon

" No matter how you handle alcohol at your wedding, you will most likely be upsetting someone. "

Emily V. Gordon

" I'm tired of hearing about 'Damages,' I don't care how life-changing 'The Wire' is, and I don't want to hear another word about 'Battlestar Galactica' or its super-awesome ending. "

Emily V. Gordon

" We all have an idea of how we like to be treated that we would like others to adhere to, and somehow we've gotten in our heads that the perfect person for us will just know what this code of behavior is. "

Emily V. Gordon

" In high school, I decided that all of my female friends were stupid and traded them for guy friends. I loved horror movies and heavy metal and used these interests to become a 'guys' girl.' "

Emily V. Gordon

" Your life story is a gift, and it should be treated as such. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Far from 'rotting my brain,' as I was often told would happen, TV helped me feel less alone at a time when I spent so much time alone. "

Emily V. Gordon

" If a show is wickedly, hugely popular, like 'Mad Men,' I assume that the masses, in their infinite inferiority to me, don't know what good TV is and that everyone is just brainwashed. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Being completely independent doesn't make you a strong woman - it's being strong enough to trust yourself in other people's hands that takes guts. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Unequivocally, individual human beings who live together will always have different standards of what a 'clean house' looks like. "

Emily V. Gordon

" If you've experienced cheating in a new marriage, the real work is not obsessively combing through all the details of what happened, but rather figuring out if your relationship is worth saving. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Some divorcees turn their pain inward. They brood, and they grieve for a long time, always wondering if they could have done something differently to keep this from happening. They make every problem in their relationship into something they could have prevented. "

Emily V. Gordon

" It's easy to isolate yourself when you're buried in work, or to rely only on work friends for empathy. And while your work friends will always 'get it' more than your life partner, they don't know how to comfort you like your partner does. "

Emily V. Gordon

" The benefits of a healthy, thriving relationship may not be nearly as exciting as watching your career take off, but both aspects of your life are equally important. "

Emily V. Gordon

" In my professional and personal life, when I meet people who feel broken after a divorce, they can usually be divided into two categories: those who truly believe there's something wrong with them, and those that are using their status as armor. "

Emily V. Gordon

" I think it's always good to get into your partner's mindset. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Holiday food is rich and indulgent. Going-home-to-see-family food is richer and even more indulgent. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Parents go to sleep early. This is universal. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Burlesque dancing didn't solve all my post-divorce problems, but what it did do was force me to court myself for a little while. "

Emily V. Gordon

" In my experience as a therapist and as a friend, it seems that the majority of the breakup resources available are for women and not men. Women, who tend to be more vocal about their emotional struggles, are the squeaky wheel that gets the grease from friends, from online communities, from books, and from therapeutic approaches. "

Emily V. Gordon

" I haven't always been the best advocate for my own body. I was a too-tall, pudgy child who felt completely out of control of the genetic lottery ticket she'd been given, so in retaliation, I shut down. I ignored my body and hated it for not being tiny and cute like my friends' bodies. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Everybody's got baggage, and not just the classic, 'Oh I have so much baggage,' but everyone comes with so much context, and you're not just dating a person: you're dating all their context, too. Part of relationships is negotiating each other's context. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Not deciding is a decision. People don't realize that not making a decision is a decision in itself. "

Emily V. Gordon

" People get married for a wide array of reasons and have all sorts of expectations of how marriage will change the relationship. And while it's true that turning the person you're dating into a legal partner does affect certain things, those who expect marriage to be a cure-all for all your relationship woes are sorely mistaken. "

Emily V. Gordon

" It's absolutely amazing to me that anyone allowed their children to watch 'The Ren & Stimpy Show' in the '90s; it's dark, gross, nihilistic, and absolutely bizarre. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Do remember to pick your battles when you start parenting your stepchildren. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Love is a good thing. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Sometimes we put so much effort into things we're doing, like dating or wedding planning, that we don't stop to think about whether or not we even want the results of that effort. "

Emily V. Gordon