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" Do remember to pick your battles when you start parenting your stepchildren. "
Emily V. Gordon
Parenting
You
Start
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" Marriage will not change your spouse. It will not make him or her more mature, more loyal to you, or better at housework. "
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" If you don't simply communicate with your spouse what household tasks you would like them to do, you are setting yourself up to be angry. "
Emily V. Gordon
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" Post-divorce, the world can feel harsh and full of jagged edges. "
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" I haven't always been the best advocate for my own body. I was a too-tall, pudgy child who felt completely out of control of the genetic lottery ticket she'd been given, so in retaliation, I shut down. I ignored my body and hated it for not being tiny and cute like my friends' bodies. "
Emily V. Gordon
Child
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She
" The benefits of a healthy, thriving relationship may not be nearly as exciting as watching your career take off, but both aspects of your life are equally important. "
Emily V. Gordon
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" I remember being a teenager and feeling like I could talk to anyone anywhere about anything. "
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Like
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" Hindsight is always 20/20, but I imagine a lot of married and divorced people have insights to share about how they felt during their engagement. "
Emily V. Gordon
Imagine
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Always
" People get married for a wide array of reasons and have all sorts of expectations of how marriage will change the relationship. And while it's true that turning the person you're dating into a legal partner does affect certain things, those who expect marriage to be a cure-all for all your relationship woes are sorely mistaken. "
Emily V. Gordon
Marriage
Dating
Change
" Don't expect yourself to immediately love your stepchildren. In fact, you may hate them for a bit. "
Emily V. Gordon
You
Yourself
Expect
" Sacrificing your relationship for your career sounds noble and romantic from the outside, but the reality is that it can create a pattern of self-destruction that will ultimately burn you out on the career you've worked so hard to build. It's a trap and, for some, an easy way out of having to maintain relationships under stress. "
Emily V. Gordon
Reality
Stress
Relationship
" Balanced, passionate, grounded people are the ones whose careers are ultimately the most successful. "
Emily V. Gordon
Passionate
Grounded
Successful
" Some divorcees turn their pain inward. They brood, and they grieve for a long time, always wondering if they could have done something differently to keep this from happening. They make every problem in their relationship into something they could have prevented. "
Emily V. Gordon
Time
Long
Relationship
" Ghosts of Marriages Past can haunt many aspects of a new relationship - your expectations of what a man should do, how you behave in conflict, your ideas of how commitment should look - they can even make your new man look untrustworthy when he's really behaving normally. "
Emily V. Gordon
Man
Relationship
Conflict
" I am fairly convinced that people plan destination weddings because they would actually like to elope but want to have given you the option to attend. "
Emily V. Gordon
People
I Am
Destination
" There's nothing like listening to the drone of QVC's always-bubbly pitchwomen, as they try to move loose-fitting tunics with 'just the right amount of sparkle,' to soothe you into a healing slumber. "
Emily V. Gordon
Try
Nothing
Listening
" A lot of new stepparents fall into the trap of letting children disobey household expectations in order to gain favor with them. "
Emily V. Gordon
Fall
Expectations
Children
" Women compete, compare, undermine, and undercut one another - at least, that is the prevailing notion of how we interact. "
Emily V. Gordon
Compete
Women
Undermine
" If a show is wickedly, hugely popular, like 'Mad Men,' I assume that the masses, in their infinite inferiority to me, don't know what good TV is and that everyone is just brainwashed. "
Emily V. Gordon
Good
Men
Me
" After my divorce, I took some time off from having a romantic life to begin the tough work of figuring out where I'd gone wrong and what on Earth I could do to understand how to be a whole person in a relationship. "
Emily V. Gordon
Romantic
Time
Work
" Your life story is a gift, and it should be treated as such. "
Emily V. Gordon
Life
Gift
Your
" The period that directly follows the dissolution of a long term relationship is extremely volatile, with emotions running the gamut from misery to elation to relief to terror. "
Emily V. Gordon
Long
Relationship
Misery
" If you've had a marriage that ended because of a betrayal in trust on your spouse's behalf, the idea of trusting another person with your heart can seem completely ridiculous. "
Emily V. Gordon
Marriage
Trust
You
" I think it's lovely when people are more involved in local politics. "
Emily V. Gordon
Politics
Lovely
More
" For so long, TV consisted of a limited number of shows a year, and those shows had to appeal to as many people as possible. The joy of TV now is that shows don't have to be broad anymore - they can be small, weird, and niche. "
Emily V. Gordon
Now
Long
Joy
" Never marry because it seems like what you should do. "
Emily V. Gordon
Marry
Never
You
" Not deciding is a decision. People don't realize that not making a decision is a decision in itself. "
Emily V. Gordon
Making
Realize
Decision
" Betrayal can be extremely painful, but it's up to you how much that pain damages you permanently. "
Emily V. Gordon
Betrayal
You
Up
" That's part of what a relationship is: you don't experience things in the same way. "
Emily V. Gordon
Relationship
Experience
Same
" Holiday food is rich and indulgent. Going-home-to-see-family food is richer and even more indulgent. "
Emily V. Gordon
Rich
Holiday
Food
" I'm tired of hearing about 'Damages,' I don't care how life-changing 'The Wire' is, and I don't want to hear another word about 'Battlestar Galactica' or its super-awesome ending. "
Emily V. Gordon
Ending
Care
Hear