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" I'm unable to do the thing that Broadway actors do in plays, sometimes for years. The same exact blocking, the same exact lines. I'm a little bit uncomfortable with that. Every night I'm looking for ways to try something else. "

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" It sounds so nerdy and pathetic, but what I always do on Sunday afternoon is bring my inbox down to zero, which is so sad. But e-mail has become like homework for adults. I'll have 141 messages from people who will be offended if I don't write back. "

Mike Birbiglia

Homework

Down

People

" With a monologue, you can be unendingly elliptical. "

Mike Birbiglia

You

Monologue

" Shooting a movie isn't good for a sleep disorder. "

" The ability to workshop in stand-up comedy is incomparable to any art form, in my opinion. "

" Pain is funnier than love. "

" You have to be delusional to be a comedian. "

" I love Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel. "

" I always try to attack the most honest issues I can in my comedy. "

" One of my favorite comedies of all time is 'Terms of Endearment;' that's my pace. "

" I feel that marriage can lead to the ultimate rejection and failure and divorce and things we all fear. "

" As artists, we'd all love to not be commercial - to not sell out to the full extent that we are able. But you do what you have to do to pay New York rent and continue to do what you feel strongly about. "

" Everything about starting out in comedy is pride-swallowing, from handing out fliers to bombing in front of audiences. "

" When I started out, I really struggled as a comic because no one knew who I was, and sometimes I was telling stories, so it would take a while for people to get on board for things. "

" I was a screenwriting major at Georgetown, and I was in class with some really strong writers like Jonathan Nolan, who co-wrote 'The Dark Knight' with Chris, his brother. He wrote 'The Prestige,' the story for 'Memento.' "

" I never looked at my parents' marriage or really anyone who had been married more than 30 years and thought, 'I gotta get me some of that!' "

" I think your tendency when you play yourself is to accentuate something about you that you think is the funny thing about you. "

" The economy of film forces you to make choices. "

" Jokes are so personal, and they bring us together in so many ways. "

Mike Birbiglia

Together

Bring

" Sometimes I take this women's exercise class called Core Fusion at a place called Exhale. I shouldn't say it's a women's class. There's maybe two men. "

" I've found, being in Los Angeles, it's like living in a live-action Planet Hollywood. "

Mike Birbiglia

Hollywood

Los Angeles

" Media is so weird; everything is so accessible now. It used to be this thing where, if you did something on 'This American Life,' this predates me, but when David Sedaris did it, for example, it would just play, people who heard it heard it, and then the book would come out a year later, and people would be like, 'Ahh, I kind of remember that.' "

Mike Birbiglia

American

Life

" When I was starting out, I thought I would go into comedy and there would be a mentor, like the Philip Seymour Hoffman character in 'Almost Famous,' in my life, and there just wasn't. It was really frustrating for me because I desired that so much. "

Mike Birbiglia

My Life

Thought

" I think serious situations actually make for the best kind of belly laughs. But they're also the hardest to convert into comedy at the outset. "

" I sometimes think of not doing Twitter or Facebook anymore, but that's how people find their favorite bands and comedians. "

" Every comedian comes to a fork in the road where they have to decide if they're going to make jokes about other people or make jokes about themselves. I chose myself. "

" I've become good friends with Lena Dunham, and the thing I had in common with Lena when I was 24 is I was as ambitious as she was. What we don't have in common is that I was not as talented. My voice was not as clearly defined. "

" I love pizza. I want to marry it, but it would just be to eat her family at the wedding. "

" I was raised Catholic, and then I kind of wandered away somewhere in high-school. I never got confirmed, which is a big deal. "

" I've actually always wanted to write like a one-person show that was sort of a romantic comedy - a show that was kind of cynical about romance and marriage but ultimately embraced it. Because I feel like comedy is always cynical, inherently, because it's contrarian. "

" I feel like being a door person was like college in a sense. I could watch comedy on a professional level seven nights a week without paying, and they would pay me a nominal amount of money to be there. "

Mike Birbiglia

Money

Week