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" I haven't been offstage for more than two days since I started doing comedy. "

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" My family is just naturally funny. "

" I don't understand why black people feel this undying need to want to be down with white people all the time. "

" Like everybody, I started out doing 'bringer' shows - the kind where if you show up with a certain number of people, you get to perform. Sometimes I would actually pay strangers off the street to come in and see my set. "

" I know I'm going to be doing standup for the rest of my life. "

" It's too expensive to eat healthy. You ever go to Whole Foods? A carrot is, like, seven dollars. McDonald's got double cheeseburgers for a dollar. "

" Women do so much aesthetically to attract men that they sometimes overlook the simple things, like cooking. "

" Once school let out every year, my siblings and I would get packed into a station wagon to drive to South Carolina to see my grandparents for summer vacation. If school let out on Friday, we were probably in the station wagon no later than Sunday morning, and we would make stops along the way. "

" Everybody cheats on the Kardashians. "

" I can make anything in the room funny in a few seconds. "

" Nobody needs a chitlin. "

" You know why kids don't eat fruits? Because fruits don't have any mascots. Every sugary cereal has a bear or a rabbit going , 'Kid! Eat it! Eat it, eat it, eat it!' You're a kid, you're like, 'I got to get that cereal.' "

" I was on the school bus telling Richard Pryor jokes. I was sneaking, listening to Richard Pryor albums and would go to school the next day, tell all the jokes, and get in trouble because I was cursing. "

" Trouble was almost inevitable. I grew up with so many at-risk kids. Kids had things go wrong. "

" My first stand-up experience, like most comics, was horrible. I got booed offstage. I thought I was funnier than I was. But the walk from the back of the room to the stage was the most excited I'd ever been about anything in my life other than kissing a girl. That's how I knew I had to get back onstage and do it again. "

" I never knew I was poor until I got older because we just had so much fun. I thought everyone had grilled cheese night and that everyone had Cup-O-Noodles for dinner on Fridays. "

" I talk to the audience like I talk to my friends on the stoop. "

" 'All Def' is unlike any other comedy show or set because 'All Def' goes back to the essence of how urban comedy started. We give it a 'stoop appeal.' A stoop appeal is important for us because it's where pretty much all black comics started doing their standup: cracking jokes on the stoop, in the hood. "

" My favorite comics are the ones who say funny stuff but also give you the message. They give you the laughter, but there's also the, 'Mmm - I didn't take that into consideration.' "

" If my sisters like something I do, then I'm very happy with it. I only listen to my sisters! "

" Mexicans work so hard. Jamaicans are like, 'Hey mon. Take it easy. You work too 'ard.' Sneak into the country Sunday night, working Monday morning. "

" My older brothers have their own children, and they have to go to soccer practice and football practice on the weekends. They're doing their thing and on the weekends, and I'm on the road. The busier we get, the less time we get to see each other. That's why, when we see each other, it's really, really kind of special. "

" If you're at the Comedy Store or the Laugh Factory or the Improv, even two minutes helps. You never know who might be in the audience. "

" I'm a skinny kid from Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn. "

" I talk about everything - politics, the economy; the news will give you more material than you can ever use. But relationships? That's the ongoing battle. You talk about men and women, and across-the-board everyone can relate to that. "

" You can live with diabetes. It's not the worst thing to have, but you have to manage yourself and have some self control. "

" Never steal jokes. "

" When I was growing up, I was really into comedy. I listened to a lot of comedy albums. I loved Richard Pryor, but the comic that had the most impact on me was always my brother Chris, who was in the next room. It was tangible. If Chris could make it, I could try. "

" If you enjoy and become a fan of Tony Rock, I really appreciate it! But, I do my comedy for me, so I don't try and please everyone or appease anyone. In the end, it's for me. "

" People say an Oscar validates your career. No, it doesn't. There's more good actors without Oscars than there are with Oscars. "

" New York is home. It's so unique that there is no other place like it. "