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" It's too expensive to eat healthy. You ever go to Whole Foods? A carrot is, like, seven dollars. McDonald's got double cheeseburgers for a dollar. "

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" My family is just naturally funny. "

" I was on the school bus telling Richard Pryor jokes. I was sneaking, listening to Richard Pryor albums and would go to school the next day, tell all the jokes, and get in trouble because I was cursing. "

" My favorite comics are the ones who say funny stuff but also give you the message. They give you the laughter, but there's also the, 'Mmm - I didn't take that into consideration.' "

" I keep saying this - and I keep putting it off because I get busy - but I keep saying one year I'm gonna tape our Thanksgiving dinner or, like, our Christmas dinner and maybe put it on my website just for people to see how funny it really is, how much fun it really, really is. "

" I will never be the comic that apologizes for telling a joke. "

" My pops, the whole time while I was growing up, was conscious of what we ate. He made sure we exercised and had time outside. He knew having a healthy lifestyle meant exercise. "

" Women do so much aesthetically to attract men that they sometimes overlook the simple things, like cooking. "

" Every time I go onstage, it's a little less 'Chris Rock's brother.' "

" New York is home. It's so unique that there is no other place like it. "

" I haven't been offstage for more than two days since I started doing comedy. "

" Ask Frank Stallone how far your name gets you. "

" Any club has more than enough comics, so if you're not there every night talking to the booker, you're not going to get on. You have to be there more than they are. "

" Who's been loyal to a Kardashain? "

" When I was growing up, I was really into comedy. I listened to a lot of comedy albums. I loved Richard Pryor, but the comic that had the most impact on me was always my brother Chris, who was in the next room. It was tangible. If Chris could make it, I could try. "

" If I modeled myself after anybody, it probably would have been Richard Pryor. "

" You got to be willing to be knocked out to win a fight. You got to be willing to get booed off the stage to get a standing ovation. "

" Regular people laugh harder. Industry people are stuffy, very judgmental. "

" Sometimes I might get in the door a little quicker than somebody else because of my last name. But if I'm not prepared, I'm not afforded the luxury of, 'Oh, he's a little green.' It's, 'He's not talented,' where the next guy can have a bad day. "

" I talk about everything - politics, the economy; the news will give you more material than you can ever use. But relationships? That's the ongoing battle. You talk about men and women, and across-the-board everyone can relate to that. "

" Trouble was almost inevitable. I grew up with so many at-risk kids. Kids had things go wrong. "

" I saw my father every day of my childhood. "

" I don't understand why black people feel this undying need to want to be down with white people all the time. "

" My father drove a truck, and my mother was a school teacher. They wanted their children to go the traditional route: get good grades, go to college, get a job. "

" Never steal jokes. "

" I love to eat. I'm a foodie, and when I'm on vacation, I want to be a foodie with their culture, with their foods. "

" People say an Oscar validates your career. No, it doesn't. There's more good actors without Oscars than there are with Oscars. "

" There's nothing like the freedom of being in a roomful of strangers and trying to make them laugh... You either sink or swim. It's like verbal boxing. "

" Nothing's given in the Rock family. "

" I've always been into stand-up, and I always wanted to be a comic because it was like the dream job as a kid, and my brother, being the patriarch, he paved the way. "

" Once school let out every year, my siblings and I would get packed into a station wagon to drive to South Carolina to see my grandparents for summer vacation. If school let out on Friday, we were probably in the station wagon no later than Sunday morning, and we would make stops along the way. "