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" Once school let out every year, my siblings and I would get packed into a station wagon to drive to South Carolina to see my grandparents for summer vacation. If school let out on Friday, we were probably in the station wagon no later than Sunday morning, and we would make stops along the way. "

Tony Rock

School

Morning

Drive

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" My family is just naturally funny. "

" Everybody cheats on the Kardashians. "

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" I love to eat. I'm a foodie, and when I'm on vacation, I want to be a foodie with their culture, with their foods. "

" It's too expensive to eat healthy. You ever go to Whole Foods? A carrot is, like, seven dollars. McDonald's got double cheeseburgers for a dollar. "

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" People say an Oscar validates your career. No, it doesn't. There's more good actors without Oscars than there are with Oscars. "

" I'm a skinny kid from Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn. "

" I have seven brothers and two sisters, so there was always a little friendly competition in the house. I don't think that's anything unusual with that many siblings. "

" Ask Frank Stallone how far your name gets you. "

" Trouble was almost inevitable. I grew up with so many at-risk kids. Kids had things go wrong. "

" I can make anything in the room funny in a few seconds. "

" If I modeled myself after anybody, it probably would have been Richard Pryor. "

" New York is home. It's so unique that there is no other place like it. "

" You know why kids don't eat fruits? Because fruits don't have any mascots. Every sugary cereal has a bear or a rabbit going , 'Kid! Eat it! Eat it, eat it, eat it!' You're a kid, you're like, 'I got to get that cereal.' "

" I saw my father every day of my childhood. "

" When you're doing standup, it's just you. It's your written jokes. You perform it however your personality is. "

" I don't understand why black people feel this undying need to want to be down with white people all the time. "

" Like everybody, I started out doing 'bringer' shows - the kind where if you show up with a certain number of people, you get to perform. Sometimes I would actually pay strangers off the street to come in and see my set. "

" You can live with diabetes. It's not the worst thing to have, but you have to manage yourself and have some self control. "

" When I was growing up, I was really into comedy. I listened to a lot of comedy albums. I loved Richard Pryor, but the comic that had the most impact on me was always my brother Chris, who was in the next room. It was tangible. If Chris could make it, I could try. "

" My favorite comics are the ones who say funny stuff but also give you the message. They give you the laughter, but there's also the, 'Mmm - I didn't take that into consideration.' "

" My father drove a truck, and my mother was a school teacher. They wanted their children to go the traditional route: get good grades, go to college, get a job. "

" Nobody needs a chitlin. "

Tony Rock

Nobody

Needs

" When I was growing up with Chris, I was the little brother that was kind of annoying: 'Can I come?' 'Get out of here.' 'Can I play?' 'Get out of here.' So that's our relationship. I just do my own thing. I leave him alone. "

" Sometimes I might get in the door a little quicker than somebody else because of my last name. But if I'm not prepared, I'm not afforded the luxury of, 'Oh, he's a little green.' It's, 'He's not talented,' where the next guy can have a bad day. "

" My brother nurtured the love of stand-up comedy in a skinny little black kid named Tony. "

" Mexicans work so hard. Jamaicans are like, 'Hey mon. Take it easy. You work too 'ard.' Sneak into the country Sunday night, working Monday morning. "

" Nothing's given in the Rock family. "

" I talk to the audience like I talk to my friends on the stoop. "

" I keep saying this - and I keep putting it off because I get busy - but I keep saying one year I'm gonna tape our Thanksgiving dinner or, like, our Christmas dinner and maybe put it on my website just for people to see how funny it really is, how much fun it really, really is. "