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" Ask Frank Stallone how far your name gets you. "

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" I went to a wedding in St. Maarten, and we took a boat ride over to Anguilla for a day. We went to a beach that had the whitest sand I had ever seen before in my life. I was in the water up to the middle of my chest and could still see my feet. It was the clearest water. "

" New York is home. It's so unique that there is no other place like it. "

" Women do so much aesthetically to attract men that they sometimes overlook the simple things, like cooking. "

" Any club has more than enough comics, so if you're not there every night talking to the booker, you're not going to get on. You have to be there more than they are. "

" I hate when rappers do interviews. They say stuff like, 'If I wasn't doing this, I'd be dead or in jail.' Like, damn, those are the only two options? What about managing Kinkos? "

" It's too expensive to eat healthy. You ever go to Whole Foods? A carrot is, like, seven dollars. McDonald's got double cheeseburgers for a dollar. "

" Sometimes I might get in the door a little quicker than somebody else because of my last name. But if I'm not prepared, I'm not afforded the luxury of, 'Oh, he's a little green.' It's, 'He's not talented,' where the next guy can have a bad day. "

" Who's been loyal to a Kardashain? "

" Nobody needs a chitlin. "

" I haven't been offstage for more than two days since I started doing comedy. "

" My father drove a truck, and my mother was a school teacher. They wanted their children to go the traditional route: get good grades, go to college, get a job. "

" I was depressed for a long time. "

" I saw my father every day of my childhood. "

" Never steal jokes. "

" I talk about everything - politics, the economy; the news will give you more material than you can ever use. But relationships? That's the ongoing battle. You talk about men and women, and across-the-board everyone can relate to that. "

" There's nothing like the freedom of being in a roomful of strangers and trying to make them laugh... You either sink or swim. It's like verbal boxing. "

" I'm a skinny kid from Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn. "

" Once school let out every year, my siblings and I would get packed into a station wagon to drive to South Carolina to see my grandparents for summer vacation. If school let out on Friday, we were probably in the station wagon no later than Sunday morning, and we would make stops along the way. "

" Every time I go onstage, it's a little less 'Chris Rock's brother.' "

" I was on the school bus telling Richard Pryor jokes. I was sneaking, listening to Richard Pryor albums and would go to school the next day, tell all the jokes, and get in trouble because I was cursing. "

" 'All Def' is unlike any other comedy show or set because 'All Def' goes back to the essence of how urban comedy started. We give it a 'stoop appeal.' A stoop appeal is important for us because it's where pretty much all black comics started doing their standup: cracking jokes on the stoop, in the hood. "

" My favorite comics are the ones who say funny stuff but also give you the message. They give you the laughter, but there's also the, 'Mmm - I didn't take that into consideration.' "

" If you're at the Comedy Store or the Laugh Factory or the Improv, even two minutes helps. You never know who might be in the audience. "

" Every day of my life is a dream goal. "

" I love to eat. I'm a foodie, and when I'm on vacation, I want to be a foodie with their culture, with their foods. "

" Regular people laugh harder. Industry people are stuffy, very judgmental. "

" My older brothers have their own children, and they have to go to soccer practice and football practice on the weekends. They're doing their thing and on the weekends, and I'm on the road. The busier we get, the less time we get to see each other. That's why, when we see each other, it's really, really kind of special. "

" You know why kids don't eat fruits? Because fruits don't have any mascots. Every sugary cereal has a bear or a rabbit going , 'Kid! Eat it! Eat it, eat it, eat it!' You're a kid, you're like, 'I got to get that cereal.' "

" I don't understand why black people feel this undying need to want to be down with white people all the time. "

" You got to be willing to be knocked out to win a fight. You got to be willing to get booed off the stage to get a standing ovation. "