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" I'd been to the Comedy Store, and I loved the terror of it and the way the best comedians could control the crowd. What confidence that would give you, if you could somehow survive. "

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" I consider myself a Jewish writer, like all my heroes: Tom Stoppard, David Mamet, Philip Roth, Arthur Miller, Woody Allen. "

Patrick Marber

Jewish

Myself

" Enough people like me. Enough to let me sleep at night. "

Patrick Marber

Sleep

Night

" Well, you just know, as a writer, I didn't really write one of the five best screenplays of the year. There were lots of brilliant screenplays; I was just one of the lucky ones who got nominated. "

" I think writing is a glorious and noble thing. "

" I'm a Jew. I think of myself as a Jew first and Englishman second. "

" I mean when the play was on in New York I was starting to get film offers coming through, and since the film's come out I get offered more than I used to, but it happens incrementally. "

" I have made a decision that in future, I will only take on movies that have a better than 75 per cent chance of being made, and that's not easy. "

" When you're in your early 20s your love life seems to explode every 20 minutes or so. By the time you've reached your thirties, it is every five or ten years. "

" I'm constantly having to be vigilant with a depressive tendency, an addictive tendency. "

" I don't feel so alive if I'm not being creative. "

" Almost every play is 10, 15 minutes too long. "

" My dialogue probably reveals the paranoia of the stand-up: if you're not quick and interesting, they will be gone. "

" I have the comedian's fear of bottles flying. I've never been bottled off, but I have had things thrown at me. Bag of crisps. And there's still a part of me, when I sit in an audience, that thinks people are going to start heckling the play. "

" In 2012, I really thought, 'That's it. It's over. I've written what I can write.' "

" I'm a Golden Globe nominee, yes. It's very nice. It's a very nice thing, but I kind of think of all the awards I wasn't ever nominated for, for years and things. "

" I come back to the theatre happily knowing that while it won't make me rich, it will provide me with fun. "

Patrick Marber

Knowing

Rich

" A part of me would like to see the money go to hospitals or housing, but I have benefited so greatly from funding for the National Theatre, which has been incredible. "

Patrick Marber

Theatre

See

" Most of what I write is comedy. "

" When I couldn't write, I felt like a zombie. "

" I hoped the dramatic power of the play would rest on that tension between elegant structure - the underlying plan is that you see the first and last meeting of every couple in the play - and inelegant emotion. "

" I used to go with my parents and loved it, I was in school plays, and I started reading plays before I started reading novels. I'll defend it to the hilt. When theatre is good it is fabulous. "

" If I get anything out, producing anything, no matter whether it's good or not, I allow myself a little pat on the back. "

" When I look back I can't believe I was so stupid as to direct Dealer's Choice. "

" It doesn't really feel like it's got anything to do with me. I mean, I know I wrote it, and all that and invented the characters and made it up, but it's Mike's film, so doing the press and stuff, it feels a little bit inauthentic. I was just one component of it. "

Patrick Marber

Film

Mean

" My life is in dialogue with the plays that I write. The relationship I have with my plays is very, very intimate, and I dot my life through them. "

" I don't try to be likeable. The worst thing people do is present versions of themselves to the world that aren't real. "

" I'm a happily married man and I think to get married you have to be optimistic. "

" I think I write serious comedies. I would love to be able to write for pure pleasure, but the undertow is always loneliness. "

" I did have a midlife crisis. "

Patrick Marber

Crisis

Did

" A couple of flop plays, a death in the family, and it could all collapse. "