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" If the studios paid the artists, how would they ever be able to afford the executives? "

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" I was thrilled to win a Tony in 2005 for 'Spamalot'. "

" I'm more surprised than anyone that 'Spamalot's done so well. You can never predict what's going to be a hit. "

" I do pool exercises, like weightlifting but underwater. I walk, I swim... I'm pretty fit for an old bloke. "

" John Cleese once told me he'd do anything for money. So I offered him a pound to shut up, and he took it. "

" Americans like to think 'Python' is how English people really are. There is an element of truth to that. "

" At least in America, you have freedom of speech, which is a good thing. It's just a question of whether you're allowed to use it on 'Fox News'. "

" You look just like you! "

" Probably spending 12 years at boarding school - comedy became a survival gene. But I think some people are funny right off the bat, as soon as they can speak or be naughty. "

" Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will make me go in a corner and cry by myself for hours. "

" I won't read scripts because I have a limited amount of time. Why should I help other people do lame stuff when I can just go out and put on lame stuff of my own? "

" I never think in terms of target audience. I try to write what makes me laugh, so I'm the target audience. I guess I just hope there's another person in America like me. "

" We've discovered that the less we do, the more money we make. "

" It's such fun to take a lot of people and create something silly. "

" To me, the musical is best when it's a musical comedy. So if you have a very, very funny show, and very good, funny songs, that's what the musical does best. "

" People can tell the truth much more freely when they're apparently lying. "

" The dreadful thing about getting older is you cry at the drop of a hat. "

" I listen to the audience and try and bounce with them. All audiences are different. But they are all homo sapiens. "

" No day of my life passes without someone saying the words 'Monty Python' to me. It's not bad. "

" Life took over 4 billion years to evolve into you, and you've about 70 more years to enjoy it. Don't just pursue happiness, catch it. "

" I have been very blessed in my life and rewarded with good friends and good health. I am grateful and happy to be able to share this. "

" It just seems to me that there's no particular reason comedy albums should be dead. There's a lot to laugh at. We have very funny people, still. "

" I like being a foreigner. For me, to live in California is very pleasant - I'm more comfortable not feeling a part of everything, not feeling responsible for the government or the roads or the health system. "

" I will jump on anybody's private plane at the drop of a hat. I'm an old-fashioned lower-middle-class boy. "

" I love stage work. The thing about plays is that they're perfectible. With film, you shoot that take and maybe another. During 'Spamalot,' I rewrote Act II three times. "

" I think the special thing about Python is that it's a writers' commune. The writers are in charge. The writers decide what the material is. "

" A website can be very time-intensive, but I'd love to have one where people can contribute to it - like invent islands and make their own flags, and their own laws. I think that'd be kind of fun. "

" I love being an older comic now. It's like being an old soccer or an old baseball player. You're in the Hall of Fame and it's nice, but you're no longer that person in the limelight on the spot doing that thing. "

" The Minister of Transport issued this appeal to motorists: Can anyone give him a lift to Leicester? "

" Talent is always more interesting - ambition is not interesting. If you have talent, you have to find ways of expressing it, but you may not be a success in the world's terms. "

" Life is a comedy when watching and a tragedy when experiencing. I try and share anything I have. "