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" If there was a button that I could push that would agog my brain to the level that I felt first seeing 'Avatar' in its entirety and another one for food pellets, I would die of starvation. "

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" If you can relate to what another person is going through while giving their experience room to be its own discrete thing, you're probably a crackerjack emergency contact. "

Mary H.K. Choi

Own

Giving

Experience

" Home is where my house pants live. And they're hideous. "

" I am obsessed with Neil Patrick Harris on Twitter. "

" If you are someone's emergency contact - you are their person, and they are your person - there is work involved. "

" From the first time I harangued my mother into buying me a pair of platform sandals at the irascible and persistent age of 11, I've worn heels. "

Mary H.K. Choi

Age

First

" I do not care for musicals. In fact, I hate them. "

" For my first job interview out of college, I wore a cream-colored cotton suit with cap sleeves and an inverted box pleat skirt that was appropriate for the late-August heat - and wildly discordant with the Red Hook offices of the graffiti magazine I had called twice to find. "

" I am anti-Halloween. "

Mary H.K. Choi

I Am

" I suspect that living 24/7 in workout attire is the clothing version of the messy topknot. We all know that your hair is dirty, or too long, or too frizzy, or your roots have grown out, but we are all going to accept it as fabulous because that's the deal. "

" If you're holding your iPhone, and it's the newest iteration of it, you're like, 'Oh, famous people have my phone. Captains of industry have my phone.' And that can be an intoxicating experience for someone who is going off to college for the first time. "

" I have a lot of respect for people who write a whole book because I've heard it will kill you. "

" My mom is an excellent mom. She knows I am irascible, prickly, and antisocial. She knows that most human interaction makes me tired and that I either scare people away with precise invectives or trot out the fakest, nicest skinjob of myself because it requires zero effort. "

" Food rules. Little rivals the pleasure of tearing into a glistening burger. "

" Never post food on your Instagram. Nobody cares, and only old people do it. "

" Yes, Justin Bieber is a contrivance. Yes, Justin Bieber's lyrics are insipid - worse still, disingenuous. Yes, his tattoos stink. Yes, he's lousy at skateboarding. But what does any of this actually matter? In case you missed it, Bieber won. "

" Reading aloud to other people is wonderful - if you have people who will suffer it. "

" I just love the comics industry. "

" Have passion, yes, but acknowledge that side projects are still work. They shake things up, just like switching up your workout helps you stay one step ahead of your torpid metabolism. They scramble the synapses. "

" Learning to ride a bike in a public park means anyone can see you. "

" Nothing beats SoulCycle for dumbing all the way out or re-calibrating a mood in less than an hour, which is reassuring, since I typically wake up in a panic that's candy-coated with a low-grade rage. "

" You always feel like a hack and a fraud when you're writing. It's just how it goes. "

Mary H.K. Choi

Writing

Fraud

" I love small-business owners, and I actually love the idea of vintage clothing, but I don't get when they pretend that the Internet doesn't exist or that other customers have never been to the whole rest of the country where you can rummage around and buy the same dang belt for a buck and a half. "

" People bursting into song in unison and then pointing it at me is maybe the worst thing I can think of, never mind that you have to pay good money to go be yelled/danced at. "

" The thing about leaving New York is that you can come back. "

" I commit words to paper and the Internet for everyone to pick apart, so I think I tend to be a lot more cynical and dulled. "

" Jockeying for a popularity position has been a valorized teen tradition since the notion of a discrete teen stage of life was invented. "

" Your mom is the first person you fall in love with, so it's loaded forever and carries all this baggage. There's almost always a communication barrier in place. In my case it's a language and cultural barrier, but other times, it's because your mother's love is conditional or because you're fundamentally different. "

" The notion of this 'emergency contact' is, Do you have someone who is holding you down? Do you know where to go if you're feeling bad? I keep likening it to assigning yourself a godparent of your choosing. "

" 'Sorry' is unlike anything Bieber has made in the past. It has been classified as 'tropical house' and 'dancehall,' but everyone seems to agree on one thing: It's a banger. "

" Consider this: alms aside, Wikipedia is fueled by competitive pedantry and emo-ness. How great is that? "