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" I do not care for musicals. In fact, I hate them. "

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" I like science a whole bunch, but I love 'The X-Files' more - I want to believe. "

" By the time you're in your 30s, unless somebody makes the god-awful decision to gift you with a cooking class or salsa lessons, it may have been a while since you learnt something new. "

" Never post anything personal to your Facebook wall. Or anyone else's, for that matter. Only snitches and teachers look at Facebook. "

" Teens are strange and magical. "

" The thing about living in New York as a writer is that you hit that age where it feels like everyone has a book all at the same time. It's like that one year where you're invited to twenty weddings. "

" The thing about leaving New York is that you can come back. "

" If you're holding your iPhone, and it's the newest iteration of it, you're like, 'Oh, famous people have my phone. Captains of industry have my phone.' And that can be an intoxicating experience for someone who is going off to college for the first time. "

" When I was five, I compound-fractured my arm, pulverising my elbow. "

" I've always been a texting advocate. "

" Everyone is such a mystery, yet we chug along so much of the time presuming we're all on the same page. "

" I am obsessed with Neil Patrick Harris on Twitter. "

" I find texting to be kind of a safe space. "

" My mom is an excellent mom. She knows I am irascible, prickly, and antisocial. She knows that most human interaction makes me tired and that I either scare people away with precise invectives or trot out the fakest, nicest skinjob of myself because it requires zero effort. "

" Nothing beats SoulCycle for dumbing all the way out or re-calibrating a mood in less than an hour, which is reassuring, since I typically wake up in a panic that's candy-coated with a low-grade rage. "

" The first time I drank LaCroix, I half expected it to be filled with self-tanner. Or Axe body spray. "

" I would never give up 'The Wire,' 'Breaking Bad,' and 'Game of Thrones.' I'm grateful for all these expensive, excellent, graphically ambitious programs. "

" Try life as your own boss, on your own voyage. No daily commute. No salad bar at 12:15. No cc'ing about the meeting. "

" I always get super confused by the way we look at technology, because since when were all phone calls created equal? It's not like every text is the same or that all texts are human interactions that are compromised. I don't get how conduits somehow dictate sentiment. "

" For my first job interview out of college, I wore a cream-colored cotton suit with cap sleeves and an inverted box pleat skirt that was appropriate for the late-August heat - and wildly discordant with the Red Hook offices of the graffiti magazine I had called twice to find. "

" Texting is incredibly anxiety-laden, but I know people who will have a full-blown panic attack if you call them. I'm one of those nightmare humans where the little mailbox has an ellipsis on it because I have 1000 unread emails. So texting is the most immediate yet least anxious of all the incredibly anxious ways that we talk to each other. "

" Aside from the can, everything about LaCroix is gentle. "

" Jockeying for a popularity position has been a valorized teen tradition since the notion of a discrete teen stage of life was invented. "

" I am anti-Halloween. "

" In New York, you collect a thousand encounters a year, a passel of handshakes, a zillion air-kisses, and boatloads of business cards that you pitch into your purse and eventually deposit your chewing gum into. Amid this break-neck montage of glancing contacts, I'm tormented by the constant thrumming fear of being fingered as a flake. "

" Home is where I climb out of my mecha-suit-of-a-poised-persona and power down. "

" I love small-business owners, and I actually love the idea of vintage clothing, but I don't get when they pretend that the Internet doesn't exist or that other customers have never been to the whole rest of the country where you can rummage around and buy the same dang belt for a buck and a half. "

" If there was a button that I could push that would agog my brain to the level that I felt first seeing 'Avatar' in its entirety and another one for food pellets, I would die of starvation. "

" My sweet spot as a writer and, especially, as an essayist is sub-1500 words. "

" LaCroix sparkling water is absolutely delicious. "

" Have passion, yes, but acknowledge that side projects are still work. They shake things up, just like switching up your workout helps you stay one step ahead of your torpid metabolism. They scramble the synapses. "