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" I commit words to paper and the Internet for everyone to pick apart, so I think I tend to be a lot more cynical and dulled. "

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" Everyone is such a mystery, yet we chug along so much of the time presuming we're all on the same page. "

" I have a lot of respect for people who write a whole book because I've heard it will kill you. "

" Manhattan, after eight years here, still reminds me of Hong Kong. There are parts of Chinatown that are the spit and image of streets in Wan Chai, and I am held in thrall by the Chrysler building as much as I was by I.M. Pei's Bank of China Tower. "

" Your mom is the first person you fall in love with, so it's loaded forever and carries all this baggage. There's almost always a communication barrier in place. In my case it's a language and cultural barrier, but other times, it's because your mother's love is conditional or because you're fundamentally different. "

" Twenty-thirteen was the year I got super into SoulCycle. "

" I do not care for musicals. In fact, I hate them. "

" Jockeying for a popularity position has been a valorized teen tradition since the notion of a discrete teen stage of life was invented. "

" My brother's in comics. I work in media. "

" Consider this: alms aside, Wikipedia is fueled by competitive pedantry and emo-ness. How great is that? "

" SoulCycle feels gross, is gross, and I'm grateful to have found it. "

" Wikipedia's a collaborative experiment akin to Simon Winchester's account of the creation of the Oxford English Dictionary in 'The Professor and the Madman,' which outlines James Murray's mission to produce the tome in the 19th century. "

" Nothing is more untoward than a grown man tasking another with snapping a pic expressly so he can 'flex the 'fit.' It's tacky -self-aggrandizing - and speaks to an existential neediness typically reserved for failed actresses and phenomenally successful rappers. "

" I cannot quantify the physics of friendships and do not know exactly how much intense pressure can be applied before these glittery, brittle bonds break. "

" I'm just going to write whatever I'm going to write, and whatever shelf or section they end up on at the bookstore is just going to be that, and I'll let the marketing people pull their hair out and worry about it. "

" When I was five, I compound-fractured my arm, pulverising my elbow. "

" The thing about living in New York as a writer is that you hit that age where it feels like everyone has a book all at the same time. It's like that one year where you're invited to twenty weddings. "

" You always feel like a hack and a fraud when you're writing. It's just how it goes. "

" I'm pretty sure I peaked at 15. "

" From the first time I harangued my mother into buying me a pair of platform sandals at the irascible and persistent age of 11, I've worn heels. "

" Join a Bikram-flow-yoga, Flywheel, or Pilates class so you can find spiritual oneness amid grunting socialite moms. Do whatever you want. Just, please, for the love of God, stop talking about it. "

" Yes, Justin Bieber is a contrivance. Yes, Justin Bieber's lyrics are insipid - worse still, disingenuous. Yes, his tattoos stink. Yes, he's lousy at skateboarding. But what does any of this actually matter? In case you missed it, Bieber won. "

" As a consumer, I love superheroes. "

" Pirates, me hearties, are the Patronus of the freelancer. "

" Privateers, military contractors - these aren't pirates. They have bosses. Real pirates are sellswords on missions of their own making. "

" My mom is an excellent mom. She knows I am irascible, prickly, and antisocial. She knows that most human interaction makes me tired and that I either scare people away with precise invectives or trot out the fakest, nicest skinjob of myself because it requires zero effort. "

" By the time you're in your 30s, unless somebody makes the god-awful decision to gift you with a cooking class or salsa lessons, it may have been a while since you learnt something new. "

" 'Sorry' is unlike anything Bieber has made in the past. It has been classified as 'tropical house' and 'dancehall,' but everyone seems to agree on one thing: It's a banger. "

" Never post anything personal to your Facebook wall. Or anyone else's, for that matter. Only snitches and teachers look at Facebook. "

" When you have tools with which to stalk everyone all the time, the most seemingly aloof person wins. "

" The thing about leaving New York is that you can come back. "