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" If you think you're going to be up for an Oscar, you schedule your moviemaking. "
Michael Caine
You
Your
Up
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" My wife, my daughters, even my grandchildren are funny. You've got to keep a sense of humor because anger destroys you. "
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" I learned about life before I went into the theater, which is why I've been so happy. I was a soldier. "
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" Wherever I live, if there isn't a restaurant I want to go to of a certain type, then I open it. That's all. For selfish reasons. "
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" Do I believe in God? Yes I do. When you've had a life like mine, you have to. "
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" I never bring a role home with me. The moment they say, 'It's a wrap,' it's gone completely. I'm a totally ruthless professional, and life is my family, not my work. "
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" To be a movie star, you have to carry a movie. And to carry a movie where you play the title role is the supreme example. "
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" Funny things happen to you in movies for silly reasons. "
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" The standing ovation threw me... to be held in such regard in a town so full of talent is quite something. "
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" The first thing I'll do if I want to look really crappy is, I don't wear any makeup at all. "
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" My problem was that I was blond. There were no heroes with blond hair. Robert Taylor and Henry Fonda, they all had dark hair. The only one I found was Van Johnson, who wasn't too cool. He was a nice, homely American boy. So I created my own image. It worked. "
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Nice
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" I'm every bourgeois nightmare - a Cockney with intelligence and a million dollars. "
Michael Caine
Million Dollars
Nightmare
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" My own mentality is that I've retired. They send me these scripts and if I absolutely have to do it, then I go to work. "
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Send
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" I'm a frustrated stand-up comic. If you hand me a microphone and I get one laugh, then I'll go on for 20 minutes. "
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" Books were my window on the world. Growing up at the Elephant and Castle, which was very rough, my paradise was the library. "
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Up
Growing Up
Window
" The American cinema in general always made stories about working-class people; the British rarely did. Any person with my working-class background would be a villain or a comic cipher, usually badly played, and with a rotten accent. There weren't a lot of guys in England for me to look up to. "
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Villain
American
Me
" Anyone can write. But comedy, you've got to do some writing. You get one comedy script to every 20 dramas. "
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Got
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Some
" A lot of movie stars are not great actors; they're just very good-looking. And when they start to age and they don't have the looks any more, then it's over. "
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Start
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" I'll always be there because I'm a skilled professional actor. Whether or not I've any talent is beside the point. "
Michael Caine
Always
Any
Talent
" Things are not quite what they seem always. Don't start me on class, otherwise you'll get a four-hour lecture. "
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Always
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Start
" I wouldn't make an anti-American film. I'm one of the most pro-American foreigners I know. I love America and Americans. "
Michael Caine
Make
Most
America
" To disappear your complete self into a character is quite difficult. I've tried it 85 times, and I've succeeded two or three times. "
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Character
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Three
" People say I've 'retained' my Cockney accent. I can do any accent, but I wanted other working-class boys to know that they could become actors. "
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People
I Can
People Say
" In England, I was a Cockney actor. In America, I was an actor. "
Michael Caine
America
Cockney
England
" If you go away on location for three months and your wife stays at home, you've made a whole new load of friends and she's made a whole new load of friends and you get home and you're kind of strangers. "
Michael Caine
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" I had been nine years in the theatre and hadn't had massive success. My only thing was I wanted to be an actor and I didn't care when, where, or how much for. "
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Theatre
Success
Actor
" Let me put it this way: If you're sitting in a movie and you're watching me, and you say, 'Isn't that Michael Caine a wonderful actor?' then I've failed. "
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Way
Watching
" I try to make everyone around me feel comfortable. "
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Feel
Try
Everyone
" Presenting the Oscars was the most nerve-racking job I have ever done in show business. It's very much a live show: they have comedy writers waiting in the wings, and as you come off between presentations, they hand you an appropriate gag to tell. "
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Job
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Business
" I don't want to sound like Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells, but I do think there should be some sort of national service for young men. "
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Think
Men
Service
" Growing up, there was only classical music on BBC Radio. We had to listen to the American Forces Network in Germany, which played pop songs, or the pirate radio boats off the coast. "
Michael Caine
American
Growing Up
Music