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" I'm like a recovering perfectionist. For me it's one day at a time. "

One Day At A Time

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" The intention and outcome of vulnerability is trust, intimacy and connection. The outcome of oversharing is distrust, disconnection - and usually a little judgment. "

" First and foremost, we need to be the adults we want our children to be. We should watch our own gossiping and anger. We should model the kindness we want to see. "

" If I feel good about my parenting, I have no interest in judging other people's choices. If I feel good about my body, I don't go around making fun of other people's weight or appearance. We're hard on each other because we're using each other as a launching pad out of our own perceived deficiency. "

" 'Crazy-busy' is a great armor, it's a great way for numbing. What a lot of us do is that we stay so busy, and so out in front of our life, that the truth of how we're feeling and what we really need can't catch up with us. "

" You cannot talk about race without talking about privilege. And when people start talking about privilege, they get paralyzed by shame. "

" Through my research, I found that vulnerability is the glue that holds relationships together. It's the magic sauce. "

" We use work to numb out. We can't turn off our machines because we're afraid we're going to miss something. "

" When you get to a place where you understand that love and belonging, your worthiness, is a birthright and not something you have to earn, anything is possible. "

" I don't have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness - it's right in front of me if I'm paying attention and practicing gratitude. "

" When we're looking for compassion, we need someone who is deeply rooted, is able to bend and, most of all, embraces us for our strengths and struggles. "

" We're hardwired for connection. There's no arguing with the bioscience. But we can want it so badly we're trying to hot-wire it. "

" When the people we love stop paying attention, trust begins to slip away and hurt starts seeping in. "

" Our need for certainty in an endeavor as uncertain as raising children makes explicit 'how-to-parent' strategies both seductive and dangerous. "

" The truth is: Belonging starts with self-acceptance. Your level of belonging, in fact, can never be greater than your level of self-acceptance, because believing that you're enough is what gives you the courage to be authentic, vulnerable and imperfect. "

" Vulnerability is the birthplace of connection and the path to the feeling of worthiness. If it doesn't feel vulnerable, the sharing is probably not constructive. "

" The uncertainty of parenting can bring up feelings in us that range from frustration to terror. "

" When you stop caring what people think, you lose your capacity for connection. When you're defined by it, you lose our capacity for vulnerability. "

" As a shame researcher, I know that the very best thing to do in the midst of a shame attack is totally counterintuitive: Practice courage and reach out! "

" Vulnerability is about showing up and being seen. It's tough to do that when we're terrified about what people might see or think. "

" There is no innovation and creativity without failure. Period. "

" I hesitate to use a pathologizing label, but underneath the so-called narcissistic personality is definitely shame and the paralyzing fear of being ordinary. "

" In many ways, September feels like the busiest time of the year: The kids go back to school, work piles up after the summer's dog days, and Thanksgiving is suddenly upon us. "

" Many people think of perfectionism as striving to be your best, but it is not about self-improvement; it's about earning approval and acceptance. "

" Anonymous comments? You're not in the arena, man. If you can't say it to me in person in front of my kids, don't say it. "

" I can encourage my daughter to love her body, but what really matters are the observations she makes about my relationship with my own body. "

" One thing that I tell people all the time is, 'I'm not going to answer a call from you after nine o'clock at night or before nine o'clock in the morning unless it's an emergency.' "

" As a vulnerability researcher, the greatest barrier I see is our low tolerance for vulnerability. We're almost afraid to be happy. We feel like it's inviting disaster. "

" I've learned that men and women who are living wholehearted lives really allow themselves to soften into joy and happiness. They allow themselves to experience it. "

" For me, the opposite of scarcity is not abundance. It's enough. I'm enough. My kids are enough. "

" We judge people in areas where we're vulnerable to shame, especially picking folks who are doing worse than we're doing. "