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" I'm pro-forwards. Do I want the Seventies to come back? No. The haircuts were terrible. Everyone stank. The food was awful. "

Douglas Coupland

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" Most time capsules, when they're unearthed, are really awful. There's nothing good in them. "

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" Eagles are seagulls with a good hairdo. "

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" I don't want any vegetables, thank you. I paid for the cow to eat them for me. "

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" I miss the reference section at the library. I used to go there twice a week on missions. Now everywhere's a research library and I can't get an elitist kick from it any more. "

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" I've got 911 on speed dial. "

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" God is what keeps us together after the love is gone. "

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" The Internet has destroyed irony in the world, or at least wounded it considerably. What are we to do about an invention whose end result is that starving people in China are looking up things on marthastewart.com? "

Douglas Coupland

" It's weird when people start sentences with 'frankly' - as if their other sentences don't count. "

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" I have trouble with seafood because it tastes like a dock. "

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" Birds are a miracle because they prove to us there is a finer, simpler state of being which we may strive to attain. "

Douglas Coupland

" Try not thinking of peeling an orange. Try not imagining the juice running down your fingers, the soft inner part of the peel. The smell. Try and you can't. The brain doesn't process negatives. "

Douglas Coupland

" If nothing else, we simply get used to being alive. "

Douglas Coupland

" Whatever happened to books? Suddenly everybody's talking about these 100-hour movies called 'Breaking Bad'. People are talking about TV the same way they used to talk about novels back in the 1980s. I like to think I hang out with some pretty smart people, but all they talk about is 'Breaking Bad.' "

Douglas Coupland

" I began doing writing projects and art and design projects to explore a new way of seeing Canada. Roots is one more way of continuing this exploration. I want to present a wide-open Canadian sense of color, adventure, communication and openness that defines our country. "

Douglas Coupland

" If a building looks better under construction than it does when finished, then it's a failure. "

Douglas Coupland

" Is there anything in the world more annoyingly creepy than an unspoken dress code? "

Douglas Coupland

" Clowns drink to blot out the ravages of terrifying children for a living. "

Douglas Coupland

" When we constantly ask for miracles, we're unraveling the fabric of the world. A world of continuous miracles would not be a world, it would be a cartoon. "

Douglas Coupland

" The advent of cellphones may, in the end, be no more relevant than the ability of laptops to change our written documents into ones using cool new fonts. "

Douglas Coupland

" You wait for fate to bring about the changes in life which you should be bringing about by yourself. "

Douglas Coupland

" It's very strange that most people don't care if their knowledge of their family history only goes back three generations. "

Douglas Coupland

" The thing about the future is that it never feels the way we thought it would. "

Douglas Coupland

" I will say that my days are spent solitary and somewhat lost in thought, and every single time I inadvertently wear my shirt inside out in public, I bump into my sister-in-law at the grocery store. "

Douglas Coupland

" On TV people look at your hair and then they look at your skin, and then they look at your clothes, and by the time they're listening to what you're saying, you're off the screen. "

Douglas Coupland

" I'm a pretty good drawer. I have trouble painting because you literally have to wait for the paint to dry. I'm disciplined, but I'm not patient. "

Douglas Coupland

" I worship teachers. They can't be paid enough. It depresses me that society sees them as somehow expendable. "

Douglas Coupland

" Every single moment is a coincidence. "

Douglas Coupland

" Soon it won't be the Internet any more, it'll just be like air, like somehow they'll integrate the Internet into the air. And God's name will have ended up being 'Google,' because that's the way it worked out. It could have worked out that God's name ended up being 'Yahoo,' of course, but they lost out. "

Douglas Coupland

" I kind of wonder if creativity is all morphing into one big thing that's not even art, but something universal and bigger. "

Douglas Coupland

" My house. It's kind of eccentric. It's two decades worth of accumulated personal projects. Yeah, it is pretty dense in my house. "

Douglas Coupland