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" It's fun to deliver material on live TV because it's more off-the-cuff, but I like writing better. You really can measure the joke, think an extra second and nail the right reference. "

Willie Geist

Fun

Think

Writing

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" When you work in TV long enough, you tend to get a little jaded with different things you have to deal with. "

" If you're one of the fortunate few on this Earth with a pass to enter the gates of Augusta National on Masters Sunday, you don't leave early. You just don't. If it's a Masters Sunday when Tiger Woods is near the top of the leader board, you really don't leave early. "

" My routine is to ride that snooze button as far as it will take me, take a quick shower, get dressed in the dark and bolt out the door. "

" High on the list of things I've been meaning to do since I moved to New York in 2004 is going up to a Columbia University football game. "

" I was a big Dave Winfield guy growing up. "

Willie Geist

Guy

Growing Up

" I hate to make this point too often, but imagine for a moment George W. Bush were on his sixth vacation, and he was asked about Iraq, and he said 'I'm buying shrimp.' You think that wouldn't be a headline everywhere? "

" The great 'New York Times' columnist Dave Anderson famously slept one year in a child's race-car bed. There he was, Pulitzer Prize and all, snoring as his feet dangled over the rear tires of Lightning McQueen. "

" Like a lot of kids, I had a Superman cake or different theme cakes, but then I hit the age where I think my mom thought I was ready for the German chocolate cake that she makes for my dad. Just the sight of that, the taste of that frosting, just reminds me of being at home with my mom and my dad and my sister and my friends. "

" My dad is so unique in what he does. It's not like I'm taking a torch from him and doing his thing. I hope I've carried from him a little bit of a sense of irony, a little bit of a wink. "

" You don't really have to say much when your headline is 'Drag Queen Robs Burger King.' Sometimes comedy writes itself. "

" Watching 'CSI: Miami' is like watching 'Teen Jeopardy!' or doing the crossword puzzle in 'People' magazine. It makes you feel smart even when you're not. "

" There's a lot to be said for going to baseball games for a living. "

" I got into television in 1998 when I didn't have a computer or even an email address. "

" The thing about me is that I don't judge my audience. I welcome. It is a big tent. "

Willie Geist

Welcome

Tent

" In a tradition second in wonderful absurdity only to 60-year-old baseball managers wearing uniforms and spikes in the dugout, golf spectators come dressed ready to play 18. "

" I'm 6-foot-4. If my life depended on it, I could still dunk a basketball. Then I would need assistance from a first responder to get down from the rim. "

" I am one of the five best parallel parkers in the United States of America. Dead serious. It's to the point now where I look back when pulling into the spot only as a formality. "

" Unintentional comedy is comedy just the same. "

" I'm pretty sure people are going to start writing letters again once the email fad passes. "

" Bachelor parties would pay a lot of money to hire Pat Buchanan to come. "

" I think President Obama has always been a little bit underestimated. Some of the things he's done with foreign policy have been unassailable. Getting us out of Iraq, killing Osama Bin Laden. "

" I keep my politics a little closer to me than others do. "

" Chris Rock is a very funny man. "

" I'm not a coffee drinker, so my drink is kind of like a girlie skim chai latte. I'm not proud of it, but it's really good. "

" If the relentless personal maintenance plan has taken over your life, give it a rest. "

" I think there's something about the homemade birthday cake, because my wife, on my daughter's first birthday, started the tradition where she takes a full cake and cuts the number birthday out of it. "

" I don't think anybody's quite accurately branded me. I'm not sure I could do it myself. "

Willie Geist

Anybody

Quite

" I have a simple plan to solve the economic crisis. Give every American a $100 credit to the dog track of their choice. I have found the puppies to be a reliable source of income with a consistent rate of return. "

" I guess it turns out choosing your life partner from a group of men trying to get their break in show business by sitting around shirtless in a swimming pool while cameras watch around the clock isn't the path to a soulmate after all. "

" Do whatever you want to do in the privacy of your own home. "