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" It's hard to write a good play because it's hard to structure a plot. If you can think of it off the top of your head, so can the audience. "

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" You know, young actors say all the time, 'Should I use my own life experience?' And my response is, 'What choice do you have?' "

" I don't think there's any information to be gotten from television. "

" We respond to a drama to that extent to which it corresponds to our dreamlife. "

" A stage play is basically a form of uber-schizophrenia. You split yourself into two minds - one being the protagonist and the other being the antagonist. The playwright also splits himself into two other minds: the mind of the writer and the mind of the audience. "

" I always thought the real violence in Hollywood isn't what's on the screen. It's what you have to do to raise the money. "

" People ask me, 'What do you do?' And I tell them I'm a writer, but always with the silent reservation, 'I am, of course, not really a writer. Hemingway was a writer.' "

" If, indeed, a firearm were more dangerous to its possessors than to potential aggressors, would it not make sense for the government to arm all criminals, and let them accidentally shoot themselves? Is this absurd? Yes, and yet the government, of course, is arming criminals. "

" I took the liberal view for many decades, but I believe I have changed my mind. "

" Art and mass entertainment and propaganda, they can all be plotted on the same graph, but there is a difference. "

" I was fortunate enough to have a rambling youth. "

" I'm not an ascetic. "

" The so-called assault weapons ban is a hoax. It is a political appeal to the ignorant. The guns it supposedly banned have been illegal for 78 years. Did the ban make them 'more' illegal? The ban addresses only the appearance of weapons, not their operation. "

" In practice we, in the world, must do business with each other. "

" I've been alienating my public since I was 20 years old. "

" I love all insider memoirs. It doesn't matter whether it's truck-drivers or doctors. I think everybody likes to go backstage, find out what people think and what they talk about and what specialised job they have. "

" It's hard for a Jew of my generation, an American Jew, who is philo-Zionistic, not to romanticize Israel. "

" I'm not the guy to ask about politics. I'm a gag writer. "

" I'm entitled to my political opinions, and I get to vote because I'm an American. "

" You get rich through luck. You get rich through crime. You get rich through fulfilling the needs of another. You can be as greedy as you like. If you can't do one of those three things, you ain't going to get any money. "

" Our job, as writers is to do our jobs. "

" People only speak to get something. "

" My idea of perfect happiness is a healthy family, peace between nations, and all the critics die. "

" Roll back the clock, and every possession of every great country started with a crime. "

" Obama is a tyrant the same way FDR was a tyrant. He has a view of presidential power that states: the government is in control of the country, and the president is in charge of the government. He's taken an imperial view of the presidency. "

" Listen, here's the thing about an English degree - if you sat somebody down and asked them to make a list of the writers they admire over the last hundred years, see how many of them got a degree in English. "

" The quality I most admire in a man is steadfastness. "

" I used to think I'd like to be a fireman - in fact, I still would - and the only drawback I could see was coming back to the firehouse, after a day of fighting fires, and still having to put in an eight-hour day writing. "

" War is tragedy. The great war stories are tragedies. It's the failure of diplomacy. 'War and Peace,' 'A Farewell to Arms,' 'For Whom the Bell Tolls.' Those are some of the greatest tragedies. "

" When the three branches of government have failed to represent the citizenry and the mass of the media has failed to represent the citizenry, then the citizenry better represent the citizenry. "

" If you're writing an opinion piece, it's your job to write your opinion. If, on the other hand, you wrote a novel, as Virginia Woolf tells us, it would be inappropriate if you let your novel be influenced by your political opinions. "