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" Roll back the clock, and every possession of every great country started with a crime. "

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" They say you can't study Kabbalah until you are at least 40 years old. You know why? You have to have experienced at least one generation making the same mistakes as the previous one. "

" War is tragedy. The great war stories are tragedies. It's the failure of diplomacy. 'War and Peace,' 'A Farewell to Arms,' 'For Whom the Bell Tolls.' Those are some of the greatest tragedies. "

" Mixed martial arts was invented by Brazilians, whose families had been trained by the Japanese. Those Brazilians came to the U.S., where their invention was bought out, gussied up and presented to the world, which found it good. "

" Conservatives believe in smaller government and in the power of the electorate. So I think that we're less likely to try to use a dramatic forum to warp people's political views. "

" Policemen so cherish their status as keepers of the peace and protectors of the public that they have occasionally been known to beat to death those citizens or groups who question that status. "

" A stage play is basically a form of uber-schizophrenia. You split yourself into two minds - one being the protagonist and the other being the antagonist. The playwright also splits himself into two other minds: the mind of the writer and the mind of the audience. "

" Culture exists and evolves to relegate to habit categories of interactions the constant conscious reference to which would make human interaction impossible. "

" In my family, in the days prior to television, we liked to while away the evenings by making ourselves miserable, solely based on our ability to speak the language viciously. "

" I hate vacations. There's nothing to do. "

" We Americans have always considered Hollywood, at best, a sinkhole of depraved venality. And, of course, it is. It is not a protective monastery of aesthetic truth. It is a place where everything is incredibly expensive. "

" The honest man might observe... that no one gets something for nothing; that politicians go in poor and go out rich; that the Government screws up everything it touches; and that the Will to Believe is best confined to the Religious Venue, as to practice it elsewhere is just too damned expensive. "

" I was fortunate enough to have a rambling youth. "

" A liberal pretending to be a conservative? That's like a straight person pretending to be gay to get greater acceptance. "

" It's hard to write a good play because it's hard to structure a plot. If you can think of it off the top of your head, so can the audience. "

" You know, young actors say all the time, 'Should I use my own life experience?' And my response is, 'What choice do you have?' "

" I'm afraid of only two things: being lazy and being cowardly. "

" I've been alienating my public since I was 20 years old. "

" My tendency as an actor was to correct people, was to say, 'What if we tried it this way, what about if we tried that way?' That's terrible habit for an actor, but that's a good habit for director. So I became a director. "

" I love the British. "

" Each culture has its own form of staged combat, evolved from its particular method of street fighting and cleaned up for presentation as a spectacle, e.g. savate, Cornish wrestling, karate, kung-fu. "

" I don't really have a social life. "

" My definition of a 'friend' is, coming from Chicago, someone who says, 'Yeah, sure. You know what? Let's talk about what we can talk about. Let's help each other out. Your politics are none of my business.' "

" People ask me, 'What do you do?' And I tell them I'm a writer, but always with the silent reservation, 'I am, of course, not really a writer. Hemingway was a writer.' "

" I grew up in a tough neighborhood and we used to say you can get further with a kind word and a gun than just a kind word. "

" The basis of drama is... the struggle of the hero towards a specific goal at the end of which he realises that what kept him from it was, in the lesser drama, civilisation and, in the great drama, the discovery of something that he did not set out to discover but which can be seen retrospectively as inevitable. "

" I'm not the guy to ask about politics. I'm a gag writer. "

" I'm not an ascetic. "

" The surprise is half the battle. Many things are half the battle, losing is half the battle. Let's think about what's the whole battle. "

" It's hard for a Jew of my generation, an American Jew, who is philo-Zionistic, not to romanticize Israel. "

" Here's what happens in a play. You get involved in a situation where something is unbalanced. If nothing's unbalanced, there's no reason to have a play. If Hamlet comes home from school, and his dad's not dead and asks him if he's had a good time, it's boring. But if something's unbalanced, it must be returned to order. "