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" Journalists write because they have nothing to say, and have something to say because they write. "

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" Virginity is the ideal of those who want to deflower. "

" Culture is the tacit agreement to let the means of subsistence disappear behind the purpose of existence. Civilization is the subordination of the latter to the former. "

" The trouble with Germans is not that they fire shells, but that they engrave them with quotations from Kant. "

" The mission of the press is to spread culture while destroying the attention span. "

" To me all men are equal: there are jackasses everywhere, and I have the same contempt for them all. "

" Solitude would be ideal if you could pick the people to avoid. "

" I and my public understand each other very well: it does not hear what I say, and I don't say what it wants to hear. "

" The sound principle of a topsy-turvy lifestyle in the framework of an upside-down world order has stood every test. "

" Democracy means the opportunity to be everyone's slave. "

" I am already so popular that anyone who vilifies me becomes more popular than I am. "

" Corruption is worse than prostitution. The latter might endanger the morals of an individual, the former invariably endangers the morals of the entire country. "

" He who does without the praise of the crowd will not deny himself an opportunity to be his own adherent. "

" Someone who can write aphorisms should not fritter away his time in essays. "

" Christian morality prefers remorse to precede lust, and then lust not to follow. "

" Journalist: a person without any ideas but with an ability to express them; a writer whose skill is improved by a deadline: the more time he has, the worse he writes. "

" A child learns to discard his ideals, whereas a grown-up never wears out his short pants. "

" Education is a crutch with which the foolish attack the wise to prove that they are not idiots. "

" It is better not to express what one means than to express what one does not mean. "

" Psychoanalysis is that mental illness for which it regards itself as therapy. "

" Children play soldier. That makes sense. But why do soldiers play children? "

" Science is spectral analysis. Art is light synthesis. "

" A writer is someone who can make a riddle out of an answer. "

" Experiences are savings which a miser puts aside. Wisdom is an inheritance which a wastrel cannot exhaust. "

" Curses on the law! Most of my fellow citizens are the sorry consequences of uncommitted abortions. "

" There are people who can never forgive a beggar for their not having given him anything. "

" There is no more unfortunate creature under the sun than a fetishist who yearns for a woman's shoe and has to settle for the whole woman. "

" Feminine passion is to masculine as an epic is to an epigram. "

" A woman who cannot be ugly is not beautiful. "

" Do not learn more than you absolutely need to get through life. "

" My unconscious knows more about the consciousness of the psychologist than his consciousness knows about my unconscious. "