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" Just go up to somebody on the street and say 'You're it!' and then run away. "
Ellen DeGeneres
Run
Say
Street
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" Find out who you are and be that person. That's what your soul was put on this Earth to be. Find that truth, live that truth and everything else will come. "
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" I'm grateful for everything. I'm grateful for my health, and I'm so grateful for the love in my life. "
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" I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut. "
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" The stand up, everything was accidental. I never grew up and was the class clown and had to get the attention. It was - it really is, I have a career despite myself. "
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" I am a really sensitive person. "
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" I didn't grow up in a house - we moved a lot, and we always lived in apartments. But we looked a lot; we went to open houses almost every weekend. I think that's why I always wanted a house. "
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" Trying to get the talk show, looking back on it, we had to beg a lot of station managers to pick up the show because people thought no one would watch it because I'm openly gay. "
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" I just want to find somebody special, somebody that I click with. "
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" We have two dogs, Mabel and Wolf, and three cats at home, Charlie, George and Chairman. We have two cats on our farm, Tom and Little Sister, two horses, and two mini horses, Hannah and Tricky. We also have two cows, Holy and Madonna. And those are only the animals we let sleep in our bed. "
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" The reason I do what I do is because I was influenced by Steve Martin, by Woody Allen, by Bob Newhart, by Carol Burnett, by Lucille Ball. "
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" I have a great career, and I have wonderful fans who really are supportive and loyal - because I'm not hiding anything from them. "
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" I've moved about 10 times over the past 15 years. I don't move for the sole purpose of getting rid of stuff. I'm not crazy. I also move so that I never have to wash any windows. "
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" Comedy can be, especially in a writer's room, really aggressive, kind of a very male-dominated room, and it would be hard for women. It's not a nurturing place. It's not like a lot of women are going to say, I can't wait to live that lifestyle and be in a writer's room until 2 or 3 a.m. "
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" I'm sure there's somebody out there who doesn't like Betty White because she's short and has white hair. "
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" I love clothes, so when I wear clothes, they're usually somebody's. You know, I'm not wearing Kmart. "
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" It's not like I grew up playing pranks on people, and I was not that girl in school. "
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" I'm a lesbian, an Aquarian, and a vegetarian. "
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" Yeah I'm thirty-six, but on the show I'm thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year old woman, so they decided to make me thirty-two. Much more appealing somehow. "
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Nobody
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" People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant. "
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People
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" I just feel like every kid is growing up too fast and they're seeing too much. Everything is about sex, and that's fine for me. I'm not saying I don't like it. But I don't think it should be everywhere, where kids are exposed to everything sexual. Because they have to have some innocence; there's just no innocence left. "
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Innocence
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" A kid should be told that you can have feelings. "
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" I became vegan because I saw footage of what really goes on in the slaughterhouses and on the dairy farms. "
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" I like being busy and juggling a lot of things at the same time. I get bored easily, so I need to do a lot. "
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" The truth is - and this is corny - I fall more in love with Portia all the time. I really do. She surprises me all the time. "
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" The only thing I really recommend, if you're starting out in stand-up is to not try to copy anybody else. You can be influenced by people. I was influenced by Steve Martin and Bob Newhart and Woody Allen, but I never tried to be someone else. I always tried to be myself. And the reason people are successful is they're unique. "
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" Usually, I wear tennis shoes because my feet are flat, and it hurts to wear anything other than shoes that are cushiony. "
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" A lot of money with the wrong career is not going to make you happy. If you have money without happiness, it doesn't mean anything. It's all about happiness. "
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" My father was a first reader in the Christian Science Church, which is similar to being a preacher. There was no drinking, smoking or cursing. "
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" I was raised in an atmosphere of 'everything's fine.' But as I got older, I was like, 'Well no, everything's not fine. There is stuff that's sad.' I am a really sensitive person. I think I am too sensitive sometimes. "
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" While I was doing stand-up, I thought I knew for sure that success meant getting everyone to like me. So I became whoever I thought people wanted me to be. I'd say yes when I wanted to say no, and I even wore a few dresses. "
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