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" The truth is - and this is corny - I fall more in love with Portia all the time. I really do. She surprises me all the time. "

Ellen DeGeneres

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" Yeah I'm thirty-six, but on the show I'm thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year old woman, so they decided to make me thirty-two. Much more appealing somehow. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I was raised that you don't use something nice until there's someplace to go. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" The stand up, everything was accidental. I never grew up and was the class clown and had to get the attention. It was - it really is, I have a career despite myself. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I collect old portraits. They're all just interesting pictures of people, and you just kind of wonder who they were and what they were. There's a guy - I don't know who he is, but he's wearing a suit. He's got his arms folded, and he looks like he sold insurance or something. I'm just wondering why someone painted him. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" People are constantly asking Portia and me if we are going to have children. We thought about it. We love to be around children after they've been fed and bathed. But we ultimately decided that we don't want children of our own. There is far too much glass in our house. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" Sometimes you can't see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I love kids. But that's such a big commitment. And it seems long-term. It seems like a commitment that you have to stick with. And I just don't know if I can - it's too risky. Like, what if I don't like the kid? "

Ellen DeGeneres

" People give me such a hard time because I don't wear dresses. What's that got to do with anything? "

Ellen DeGeneres

" The world is full of a lot of fear and a lot of negativity, and a lot of judgment. I just think people need to start shifting into joy and happiness. As corny as it sounds, we need to make a shift. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I had everything I'd hoped for, but I wasn't being myself. So I decided to be honest about who I was. It was strange: The people who loved me for being funny suddenly didn't like me for being... me. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" Portia and I constantly say to each other, 'We are so lucky.' Sometimes it's lying in bed at night before I go to sleep, and I just say thank you to whatever, whoever is out there. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I am a really sensitive person. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I'd like to be more patient! I just want everything now. I've tried to meditate, but it's really hard for me to stay still. I'd like to try to force myself to do it, because everybody says how wonderful meditation is for you, but I can't shut my mind up. So patience and learning is the key. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" My father was a first reader in the Christian Science Church, which is similar to being a preacher. There was no drinking, smoking or cursing. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" Faith is part of who I am, yes. I was raised Christian Scientist. The most important thing I saw every single week on the wall at Sunday school was the Golden Rule. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I was raised in an atmosphere of 'everything's fine.' But as I got older, I was like, 'Well no, everything's not fine. There is stuff that's sad.' I am a really sensitive person. I think I am too sensitive sometimes. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I do fantasize about having my own shop one day. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I think anybody who wants to be president has to be a politician, but I would like to find somebody who's coming from a loving place instead of a political place. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I didn't see deep emotion from my parents. It was all very polite and very surface. I never knew how anybody was feeling. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" Hosting the Oscars is pretty much the scariest thing you can do. To me, this is right up there with bungee jumping! "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I used to beat myself up about weight and working out, and no matter what I did I never felt good about myself. I decided to accept myself and know that I am good. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I didn't grow up in a house - we moved a lot, and we always lived in apartments. But we looked a lot; we went to open houses almost every weekend. I think that's why I always wanted a house. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" For some reason, we can't just enjoy somebody else's success. Somehow, that's going to affect us. If they have more, then I have less - and I don't know why. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I work really hard at trying to see the big picture and not getting stuck in ego. I believe we're all put on this planet for a purpose, and we all have a different purpose... When you connect with that love and that compassion, that's when everything unfolds. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I became vegan because I saw footage of what really goes on in the slaughterhouses and on the dairy farms. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" It's our challenges and obstacles that give us layers of depth and make us interesting. Are they fun when they happen? No. But they are what make us unique. And that's what I know for sure... I think. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" Designing is my hobby. If I didn't do what I do for a living - at some point when I don't do this for a living - I'll probably just do design work. I love finding really special pieces of furniture. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" It's not like I grew up playing pranks on people, and I was not that girl in school. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I love clothes, so when I wear clothes, they're usually somebody's. You know, I'm not wearing Kmart. "

Ellen DeGeneres