Home
Authors
Tags
App
Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App
" Left to my own vices, all I would own is a Corvette, and it would be broken down. "
Bill Engvall
Own
My Own
Left
Related Quotes:
" There's a reason God didn't give me this success in my 20s, because I'd have blown it. "
Bill Engvall
God
Me
Reason
" You know as well as I do that the family sitcom was the stalwart of TV for God knows how many decades. "
Bill Engvall
You
Family
God
" If you watch the 'Blue Collar Tour,' I was probably the least redneck of everybody. "
Bill Engvall
You
Redneck
Tour
" It's fun being Bill Engvall. "
Bill Engvall
Bill
Fun
Being
" If you lived next door to me and didn't know what I did, you wouldn't know I was a celebrity. I don't have that lifestyle, nor do I want that lifestyle. I want to know that I can have a separate life with my wife and my kids and just be normal and go camping and fishing and outdoor stuff. "
Bill Engvall
Door
Wife
Me
" I come from a time when people like Bob Newhart and Bill Cosby told stories that were devastatingly funny without being off-color. "
Bill Engvall
Time
Come
Funny
" People are trying to figure out how to pay bills and make ends meet. They don't want to turn on the TV and say, 'What is this crap?' "
Bill Engvall
People
Meet
Want
" I learned that you don't take dishes from the table to the dishwasher; you have to rinse them first. I think that's stupid because I don't go out in the back yard and hose off before taking a shower. "
Bill Engvall
Stupid
Back
Shower
" I travel fairly lightly because you have to these days. I always take a laptop and an iPod so I can watch movies and listen to music. And my Gameboy. That's a good time-killer. "
Bill Engvall
Movies
You
Travel
" I hate stupid people. They should have to wear signs that just say, 'I'm stupid.' "
Bill Engvall
Signs
Say
People
" I haven't been really nervous about a gig in a long time. "
Bill Engvall
Nervous
Time
Been
" Europe has such an expansive history. "
Bill Engvall
Expansive
History
Europe
" I was doing a bit that stupid people should be slapped. But the more I did it, the more I didn't like that connotation, the violence and all that. The more I thought about it, I thought they should just wear signs. And, man, it just took off. "
Bill Engvall
Man
Thought
Violence
" My goal is for 'The Bill Engvall Show' to be a show the networks look at and say, 'Ooh, maybe we should get back to the family sitcom.' "
Bill Engvall
Say
Look
Show
" I think you can ban guns if you can just pull the trigger and 60 bullets fire out. "
Bill Engvall
You
Think
Out
" I don't do politics, I don't do religion, I don't do ethnic jokes. "
Bill Engvall
Religion
Ethnic
Jokes
" It's funny: people who meet me say, 'I thought you'd be different.' But I'm still the same guy. "
Bill Engvall
People
Be Different
Funny
" I came out of the mall one day, and a guy was standing there with a coat hanger in his window, and I couldn't stop myself. I asked the stupid question. 'You lock your keys in the car?' 'Nope, just washed it, gonna hang it up to dry.' "
Bill Engvall
Car
Day
Myself
" I don't believe there's any reason for a person like myself to own an AK-47. "
Bill Engvall
Own
Person
Reason
" If you're just a nice guy - you don't let people walk on you - but if you're just a nice guy and treat people right, good things happen. "
Bill Engvall
Good Things
Walk
Good
" When I drove up on the set one day, and they'd put up a sign that says 'The Bill Engvall Show,' I stood there for 20 minutes just staring at it. The director, James Widdoes, came up and said, 'What are you doing?' And I said, 'Look at this! There's my name on a stage door in Hollywood!' "
Bill Engvall
Name
Look
You
" I love to laugh, and laughter is one of my favorite things. When you have a really good laugh, you feel great afterwards. "
Bill Engvall
Love
Laughter
Good
" My favorite road trip ever is when my wife and I took an RV around the country. We just had the best time. "
Bill Engvall
Wife
Best
Country
" I eat fish, chicken, vegetables and other healthier foods. I do love a great steak. "
Bill Engvall
Fish
Chicken
Love