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" Like I told Howard, I can't help it that I'm beautiful. "

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" I think, over the years, I've kind of evolved. "

" When I told my friends I was going to be a comedian, they laughed at me. "

" On the weekends, I would go down and play these clubs in Key West or West Palm Beach or surrounding areas of Florida and then I'd go back to school for the week. "

" It's weird, I never wish anything bad upon anybody, except two or three old girlfriends. "

" So I try not to look too far into the future because I think that everything happens and will happen for a reason. "

" My real name is Scott Thompson. I could have gone by that name, but when I started doing comedy I thought I needed to go by something that has a little more of a hook. "

" I've got the long hair and kind of androgynous look. It's love-hate; it's sexy, but not sexy. So it's either you get it or you don't. "

" My way of fitting in was through jokes and making people laugh. "

" People do give me a hard time about my hair because it's orange and it's big. "

" My way of making people like me was to make 'em laugh. "

" It's our nature: Human beings like success but they hate successful people. "

" I always make fun of KISS because I don't particularly think their music is anything. "

" Comics don't like to see other comics do well. "

" I always thought marketing in general was an interesting kind of thing. I always liked commercials and billboards. "

" Carrot Top is a nickname that people call me and I thought that it was more marketable. "

" I didn't really have a plan of attack when I got in college. "

" I have a home in Orlando. That's kind of my default 'getaway' city. "

" I love to shop, especially in retro stores. I have about a million pairs of old-school sports shoes like Adidas, so that's probably my biggest vice. "

" Video games are so popular these days, getting the opportunity to star in one is something special. More people should do it. "

" I was the class clown at school, but at home, my family wasn't very funny. "

" I think the more you do this and the more comfortable you become on stage, you start speaking more and becoming more of a character in yourself. "

" I never looked at Gallagher like he was a threat to me. "

" People always want to put a label on you; they always want to compare you to something. "

" I think it's the fact that I do something different and that I actually have some success with it. That bothers a lot of people... especially comics. "