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" When I told my friends I was going to be a comedian, they laughed at me. "

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" People do give me a hard time about my hair because it's orange and it's big. "

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" I think it's the fact that I do something different and that I actually have some success with it. That bothers a lot of people... especially comics. "

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" I always thought marketing in general was an interesting kind of thing. I always liked commercials and billboards. "

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" I think, over the years, I've kind of evolved. "

" On the weekends, I would go down and play these clubs in Key West or West Palm Beach or surrounding areas of Florida and then I'd go back to school for the week. "

" Like I told Howard, I can't help it that I'm beautiful. "

" I was the class clown at school, but at home, my family wasn't very funny. "

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" I have a home in Orlando. That's kind of my default 'getaway' city. "

" My real name is Scott Thompson. I could have gone by that name, but when I started doing comedy I thought I needed to go by something that has a little more of a hook. "

" It's weird, I never wish anything bad upon anybody, except two or three old girlfriends. "

" My way of making people like me was to make 'em laugh. "