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" Raffi Cavoukian was born in Cairo in 1948 and moved with his Armenian parents to Toronto when he was 10. "
Sheila Heti
Parents
Born
Armenian
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" I remember very vividly a little plaid dress on which my father sewed all these hanging beads, little horses and stuff. It was my favourite thing ever. I had it when I was four, and I kept it until I was 12, when I gave it to the little neighbour girl. For years, I regretted giving it to her, even though I had no use for it. "
Sheila Heti
Girl
Giving
Remember
" Renown is something people have always wanted, but maybe what's modern is that it's considered a virtue, this desire, rather than a vice. I might be wrong about this. "
Sheila Heti
Desire
People
Wrong
" The thing I worry about is, what happens when your talent flees? Because you see that with writers sometimes: they start writing these awful books. And there's something sort of horrifying about it. "
Sheila Heti
See
You
Writing
" When you're writing, I think a big part of writing comes out of an attempt to understand yourself. You're dealing with emotions and thoughts that are native to you. So that probably winds up in your characters. "
Sheila Heti
You
Think
Thoughts
" We're so sure of what our unlived lives would have been like that we feel guilty for not living them - for not living up to our potential. "
Sheila Heti
Guilty
Potential
Living
" Fiction is a way for writers to preserve their friendships and their romances! "
Sheila Heti
Fiction
Friendships
Preserve
" In my experience, women who are taken seriously take themselves seriously. It's not what you wear. "
Sheila Heti
Seriously
You
Women
" My feminism is just part of my being - a part of my understanding of the world. "
Sheila Heti
World
Just
Feminism
" Writing plays, I've always felt a little like I'm guessing - less sure of what's good and what's not good. I think that's because it's not a complete work of art. "
Sheila Heti
Think
Work
Always
" Only in our failures are we absolutely alone. Only in the pursuit of failure can a person really be free. Losers may be the avant garde of the modern age. "
Sheila Heti
Only
Failure
Free
" Sometimes you can't write a novel for weeks and weeks, but it's good for your self-esteem to work on something else. "
Sheila Heti
Self-Esteem
You
Work
" I have this memory of being 15 years old, sitting with a friend on the steps of a little bookstore on Bloor Street in Toronto and saying, 'I'll never take money for my writing!' I had such idealism about this idea of trading your soul for money. "
Sheila Heti
Money
Writing
Soul
" In 'Sweet Days of Discipline,' the narrator, years after graduating, fortuitously encounters her old friend Frederique at a movie theatre. Frederique invites her home. "
Sheila Heti
Discipline
Theatre
Sweet
" There is a kind of sadness in not wanting the things that give so many other people their life's meaning. There can be sadness at not living out a more universal story - the supposed life cycle. "
Sheila Heti
Story
Life
People
" Usually, you don't have commitment promises in a friendship. Usually, it just grows. "
Sheila Heti
Promises
Commitment
You
" I just always felt whole when I was writing. I felt this kind of beautiful privacy that I never felt in any other way. I feel like there's this great fullness to being alone, and writing is a really vivid way and a really magical way of being alone. "
Sheila Heti
Great
Being Alone
Beautiful
" The reason I write is because I have questions. What I don't want is for people to forget that I'm a novelist and think I'm a sociologist or something. I don't want to feel trapped into a corner where I don't belong. "
Sheila Heti
People
Feel
Forget
" Few writers push the reader away with the coolness, dignity, and faint melancholy of Fleur Jaeggy. "
Sheila Heti
Push
Few
Dignity
" Growing up, I never knew that Raffi turned down celebrity endorsements, TV shows, and specials and refused to make merchandise, but it makes sense given how I think about him: My memories are limited to his voice through the record player and the album covers I stared at. "
Sheila Heti
Think
Memories
Voice
" To me, something that's beautiful in terms of a book is something that lives inside the reader both as a discrete and complete thing, but also something that seeps out into their life and thoughts. "
Sheila Heti
Beautiful
Book
Life
" There's something about a woman's life choices that invites commentary, whether it's been invited or not. "
Sheila Heti
Been
Choices
Life
" Women, post-menopause, go back to how they were before they started menstruating, and there's this great freedom in a woman's life when she reaches the end of that reproductive cycle, and that most women come into their own strength, the same strength they had as a girl. "
Sheila Heti
Strength
Life
Freedom
" I wanted to talk to a lot of women about their experiences along the path to motherhood - or along the path to not being a mother. "
Sheila Heti
Women
Motherhood
Mother
" I don't know what that line is between fiction and non-fiction that other people have in their minds, but to me, when I'm writing, it's just like whatever the next sentence should be is the next sentence. It's not this artificial division. "
Sheila Heti
Writing
Know
Line
" Raffi doesn't have any grand theories about why his music has been so successful, but he credits a group called the Babysitters as early inspiration. "
Sheila Heti
Successful
He
Group
" I see friends of mine who have kids and continue to do their art. It's deeply impressive. I can't even fit an Amazon return into the day. It's been sitting on my desk for two weeks. "
Sheila Heti
See
Friends
Sitting
" Many of the traits in my characters are exaggerations of things I see in myself. But in 'How Should a Person Be?' I wasn't trying to write about myself so much as a combination of myself and these women I was seeing in our culture. "
Sheila Heti
Culture
Myself
Seeing
" People don't know who I am from my clothes, and they don't need to. "
Sheila Heti
Need
People
I Am
" I didn't wander into motherhood or nonmotherhood unconsciously, recklessly. I gave it due consideration. "
Sheila Heti
Consideration
Gave
Motherhood
" Trying to live the image of the life which you have in your head... it's really hard not to do that, but I do think maybe it's cheating. "
Sheila Heti
Life
Think
Trying