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" Sometimes you can't write a novel for weeks and weeks, but it's good for your self-esteem to work on something else. "
Sheila Heti
Self-Esteem
You
Work
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" Growing up, I never knew that Raffi turned down celebrity endorsements, TV shows, and specials and refused to make merchandise, but it makes sense given how I think about him: My memories are limited to his voice through the record player and the album covers I stared at. "
Sheila Heti
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" Women, post-menopause, go back to how they were before they started menstruating, and there's this great freedom in a woman's life when she reaches the end of that reproductive cycle, and that most women come into their own strength, the same strength they had as a girl. "
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" I remember where I was when I wrote that story, 'Mermaid in a Jar.' I was at a boyfriend's, and he was the only boy I ever dated who was rich, and his parents had a ski chalet, and I just didn't know how to break up with him, so I decided I would be celibate. "
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" I've written about women's lives, and I just want to write about them from being a woman. I don't need feminism on top of that when I'm writing. "
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" Raffi is arguably the world's most famous children's singer. "
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" I wished to have the time to put together a world view, but there was never enough time, and also, those who had it seemed to have had it from a very young age; they didn't begin at forty. "
Sheila Heti
Enough
Time
Together
" Writing, for me, when I'm writing in the first-person, is like a form of acting. So as I'm writing, the character or self I'm writing about and my whole self - when I began the book - become entwined. It's soon hard to tell them apart. The voice I'm trying to explore directs my own perceptions and thoughts. "
Sheila Heti
Thoughts
Character
Writing
" For me, a memoir is supposed to be understood as a representation of your life, whereas a novel is self-consciously symbolic. "
Sheila Heti
Your
Representation
Me
" One good thing about being a woman is we haven't too many examples yet of what a genius looks like. "
Sheila Heti
Good
Being
Genius
" I didn't study English literature - I studied philosophy at university - so Kierkegaard, Nietzsche - these people are among the most important writers to me. So my interest is in the big questions more than it is in storytelling. "
Sheila Heti
Important
Study
Me
" In 'Sweet Days of Discipline,' the narrator, years after graduating, fortuitously encounters her old friend Frederique at a movie theatre. Frederique invites her home. "
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Discipline
Theatre
Sweet
" I don't think about the reader when I'm writing, but I do when I'm editing, of course. For instance, I self-consciously didn't want to do anything to increase the divide between mothers and nonmothers - I think that divide is so horrible and destructive and unnecessary. "
Sheila Heti
Editing
Writing
Want
" Many of the traits in my characters are exaggerations of things I see in myself. But in 'How Should a Person Be?' I wasn't trying to write about myself so much as a combination of myself and these women I was seeing in our culture. "
Sheila Heti
Culture
Myself
Seeing
" Tove Jansson was the most successful Finnish illustrator and writer of children's books of her day, and she was the most widely read Finn abroad. She began her life as an artist early - she had her first drawing published at fifteen. "
Sheila Heti
Life
Early
Drawing
" Stand-up comedians have a very important relationship to Twitter. For them, it's a place to try out material. "
Sheila Heti
Out
Important
Try
" Some of my favorite experiences of art are when I am there but my attention has wandered. I think stimulation is overrated, and persistent stimulation is exhausting. You sometimes have to be banal, tedious: make the rhythm go soft and slow, give the mind a rest. "
Sheila Heti
Mind
You
Think
" To add something to the world should be the question, not not adding something to the world. "
Sheila Heti
Should
World
Add
" We're so sure of what our unlived lives would have been like that we feel guilty for not living them - for not living up to our potential. "
Sheila Heti
Guilty
Potential
Living
" Usually, you don't have commitment promises in a friendship. Usually, it just grows. "
Sheila Heti
Promises
Commitment
You
" My feminism is just part of my being - a part of my understanding of the world. "
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World
Just
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" There's something about a woman's life choices that invites commentary, whether it's been invited or not. "
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Been
Choices
Life
" I'm happy that I wrote 'How Should a Person Be?' and I wouldn't have written that exact book if we had just done the play. So much of the book is about the anxiety of failure - the failure of the play and the failure of the divorce and the failure of not feeling like a good person. "
Sheila Heti
Good
Book
Anxiety
" Women without children can help mothers, and we can just be all in this together. "
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Children
Mothers
Together
" The reason I write is because I have questions. What I don't want is for people to forget that I'm a novelist and think I'm a sociologist or something. I don't want to feel trapped into a corner where I don't belong. "
Sheila Heti
People
Feel
Forget
" Few writers push the reader away with the coolness, dignity, and faint melancholy of Fleur Jaeggy. "
Sheila Heti
Push
Few
Dignity
" I've always had individual friends, but I didn't find the people I wanted to learn from as an adult until my mid-twenties. "
Sheila Heti
Find
Always
People
" You don't go to tarot readers or psychics when everything's going well. It's always evidence of rock-bottom. "
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Always
You
Go
" No child, through her own will, can pull a mother out of her suffering, and as an adult, I have been very busy. "
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Mother
Busy
Own
" When I was younger, I think that I felt like I could only live one way, and I had to figure out which of those one ways it was going to be. I have no anxiety about making the wrong decision. "
Sheila Heti
Think
Decision
Way
" I see friends of mine who have kids and continue to do their art. It's deeply impressive. I can't even fit an Amazon return into the day. It's been sitting on my desk for two weeks. "
Sheila Heti
See
Friends
Sitting