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" Remember that although the distinction can be difficult to draw, loneliness and solitude are different. "
Gretchen Rubin
Remember
Loneliness
Solitude
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" Most decisions don't require extensive research. "
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" If you'd like to watch less television, try putting the remote away in a very inconvenient place and making yourself put it away every time you use it. If it's a big pain to turn on the TV and to change channels, you might find yourself drifting to other activities that will be more satisfying in the long run. "
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" One of my most important 'Secrets of Adulthood': Outer order contributes to inner calm. "
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" Enthusiasm is a form of social courage. "
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" Watching TV is companionable: you share an experience, you can comment on the action here and there for a bit of conversation... it's a way of showing someone that you want his or her company and engaging in a low-key, pleasant, undemanding way. "
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" In 'Before and After,' I identify the sixteen strategies that we can use to make or break our habits. Some are quite familiar, such as 'Monitoring,' 'Scheduling,' and 'Convenience.' Some took me a lot of effort to identify, such as 'Thinking,' 'Identity,' and 'Clarity.' "
Gretchen Rubin
Clarity
Effort
Identity
" One of the best ways to make yourself happy in the present is to recall happy times from the past. Photos are a great memory-prompt, and because we tend to take photos of happy occasions, they weight our memories to the good. "
Gretchen Rubin
Past
Memories
Happy
" When I became obsessed with Winston Churchill, I wrote a book about Churchill. What a joy it was to write that book! "
Gretchen Rubin
Book
Wrote
About
" Don't keep excessive amounts of anything. Those glass vases that come from florists. Those ketchup packets that come with take-out food. A house with two adults probably doesn't need fifteen mismatched souvenir coffee cups. "
Gretchen Rubin
Two
Coffee
Food
" Turn off your email; turn off your phone; disconnect from the Internet; figure out a way to set limits so you can concentrate when you need to, and disengage when you need to. Technology is a good servant but a bad master. "
Gretchen Rubin
You
Technology
Limits
" Each week, I post a video about some 'Pigeon of Discontent' raised by a reader. Because, as much as we try to find the 'Bluebird of Happiness,' we're also plagued by those small but pesky 'Pigeons of Discontent.' "
Gretchen Rubin
Find
Happiness
Try
" I really work on paying attention to the clues my self is giving myself. For instance, I think of myself in the third person. That allows me to manage myself better. "
Gretchen Rubin
Me
Work
Think
" I love cunning containers as much as anyone, but I've found that if I get rid of everything I don't need, I often don't need a container at all. "
Gretchen Rubin
Much
Love
Everything
" It was my interest in happiness that led me to the subject of habits, and of course, the study of habits is really the study of happiness. Habits are the invisible architecture of everyday life, and a significant element of happiness. "
Gretchen Rubin
Study
Life
Architecture
" Keeping a habit, in the smallest way, protects and strengthens it. I write every day, even if it's just a sentence, to keep my habit of daily writing strong. "
Gretchen Rubin
Habit
Daily
Day
" Keep in mind that to avoid loneliness, many people need both a social circle and an intimate attachment. Having just one of two may still leave you feeling lonely. "
Gretchen Rubin
People
You
Loneliness
" If you're impatient while waiting for the bus, tell yourself you're doing 'Bus waiting meditation.' If you're standing in a slow line at the drugstore, you're doing 'Waiting in line meditation.' Just saying these words makes me feel very spiritual and high-minded and wise. "
Gretchen Rubin
Wise
Yourself
Waiting
" Although we often assume that feelings inspire actions, in fact, actions also inspire feelings. By pushing myself to act happier, I make myself feel happier. "
Gretchen Rubin
Actions
Feelings
Myself
" A 'treat' is different from a 'reward,' which must be justified or earned. A treat is a small pleasure or indulgence that we give to ourselves just because we want it. Treats give us greater vitality, which boosts self-control, which helps us maintain our healthy habits. "
Gretchen Rubin
Want
Healthy
Reward
" It's so easy to use tired, shopworn figures of speech. I love using long, fancy words but have learned - mostly from writing my biography of Winston Churchill - that short, strong words work better. I am ever-vigilant against the passive and against jargon, both of which are so insidious. "
Gretchen Rubin
Words
I Am
Love
" Do I need fifty finger-painted pictures by my toddler, or is one enough to capture this time of life? Mementos work best when they're carefully chosen - and when they don't take up much room! "
Gretchen Rubin
Work
Life
Best
" Often, if there's something that I want to do, but somehow can't get myself to do, it's because I don't have clarity. This lack of clarity often arises from a feeling of ambivalence - I want to do something, but I don't want to do it; or I want one thing, but I also want something else that conflicts with it. "
Gretchen Rubin
Want
Myself
Because
" I'm a compulsive note-taker, and I used to feel self-conscious about pulling out my little notebook and taking notes during a casual conversation. Then I noticed that people really seemed to enjoy it; the fact that I was taking notes made their remarks seem particularly insightful or valuable. Now I don't hold myself back. "
Gretchen Rubin
Now
People
Conversation
" Most people enjoy 'potato-chip news' from time to time - to track a presidential election or the Oscars. However, some are particularly drawn to material that makes them feel shocked, frightened, insecure, or indignant, and that's what potato-chip news often provides. "
Gretchen Rubin
Feel
Election
Enjoy
" Whenever I'm trying to decide how to spend my precious time, energy, or money, I ask myself a series of questions. 'Will this broaden or deepen my relationships?' 'Will this contribute to an atmosphere of growth in my life?' 'Is this a way to 'Be Gretchen?' and 'Will this help connect me to my past?' "
Gretchen Rubin
Myself
Time
Money
" People are powerfully moved by imagination, belief, and knowledge. They can consider the past and future. They can make changes in their behavior out of reason in a way that animals can't do. "
Gretchen Rubin
Future
Imagination
Past
" It's easier to get rid of things when you're giving them to someone who can use them, but don't let this kind intention become a source of clutter itself. I have a friend who has multiple piles all over her house, each lovingly destined for a particular recipient. "
Gretchen Rubin
You
Giving
Her
" We all want to get along well with other people, and one way to do this is to help people feel good about themselves. If you make a person feel smart and insightful, that person will enjoy your company. "
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Good
Feel Good
Help
" I'd always vaguely expected to outgrow my limitations. One day, I'd stop twisting my hair, and wearing running shoes all the time, and eating exactly the same food every day. I'd remember my friends' birthdays, I'd learn Photoshop, I wouldn't let my daughter watch TV during breakfast. I'd read Shakespeare. "
Gretchen Rubin
Food
Time
Day
" When Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain's government fell in May 1940, the nation turned to Churchill. At last, his unique qualities were brought to bear on a supreme challenge, and with his unshakable optimism, his heroic vision, and above all, his splendid speeches, Churchill roused the spirit of the British people. "
Gretchen Rubin
People
Vision
Challenge