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" The American press has the blues. Too many authorities have assured it that its days are numbered, too many good newspapers are in ruins. "
Russell Baker
Many
Days
Blues
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" You can always tell folks from nonfolks. Folks like to feel good, like to smile for the camera when there's a big photo opportunity for a really good cause. "
Russell Baker
Opportunity
Feel Good
Good
" The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist. "
Russell Baker
Worst
Worst Thing
You
" In America, it is sport that is the opiate of the masses. "
Russell Baker
Opiate
America
Sport
" Usually, terrible things that are done with the excuse that progress requires them are not really progress at all, but just terrible things. "
Russell Baker
Just
Progress
Things
" Feel good about linking hands in human chain for good causes. "
Russell Baker
Feel Good
Feel
Good
" Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost. "
Russell Baker
Break
Down
Work
" Newspaper people, once celebrated as founts of ribald humor and uncouth fun, have of late lost all their gaiety, and small wonder. "
Russell Baker
Humor
People
Small
" When sudden death takes a president, opportunities for new beginnings flourish among the ambitious and the tensions among such people can be dramatic, as they were when President Kennedy was killed. "
Russell Baker
Death
People
Opportunities
" Anticipating that most poetry will be worse than carrying heavy luggage through O'Hare Airport, the public, to its loss, reads very little of it. "
Russell Baker
Will
Poetry
Airport
" It is fitting that yesteryear's swashbuckling newspaper reporter has turned into today's solemn young sobersides nursing a glass of watered white wine after a day of toiling over computer databases in a smoke-free, noise-free newsroom. "
Russell Baker
White
Wine
Today
" Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it. "
Russell Baker
You
Suffer
Summer
" It's good for the soul to hear yourself as others hear you, and next time maybe, just maybe, you will not talk so much, so loudly, so brilliantly, so charmingly, so utterly shamelessly foolishly. "
Russell Baker
Yourself
You
Time
" Journalism talk is part of the nonstop background noise of American life. "
Russell Baker
Life
American
Noise
" Situation comedy on television has thrived for years on 'canned' laughter, grafted by gaglines by technicians using records of guffawing audiences that have been dead for years. "
Russell Baker
Comedy
Situation
Television
" You can't enjoy light verse with a heavy heart. "
Russell Baker
Heart
Verse
Light
" Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say that what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. "
Russell Baker
Shot
Say
Need
" Reporters thrive on the world's misfortune. For this reason they often take an indecent pleasure in events that dismay the rest of humanity. "
Russell Baker
Politics
Rest
World
" Live by publicity, you'll probably die by publicity. "
Russell Baker
Die
Live
You
" Don't try to make children grow up to be like you, or they may do it. "
Russell Baker
Grow
Parenting
You
" Except for politics, no business is scrutinized more exhaustively than journalism. "
Russell Baker
Journalism
More
Politics
" American foreign policy had still not recovered from its victory over communism when George W. Bush and Condoleezza Rice took over at the White House in 2001. "
Russell Baker
American
Communism
Victory
" There is a growing literature about the multitude of journalism's problems, but most of it is concerned with the editorial side of the business, possibly because most people competent to write about journalism are not comfortable writing about finance. "
Russell Baker
Side
People
Writing
" The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this notion rested solely on my suspicion that I would never be fit for real work, and that writing didn't require any. "
Russell Baker
Only
Never
Writer
" Poetry is so vital to us until school spoils it. "
Russell Baker
Vital
Poetry
Until
" Children rarely want to know who their parents were before they were parents, and when age finally stirs their curiosity, there is no parent left to tell them. "
Russell Baker
Know
Parents
Children
" In an age when the fashion is to be in love with yourself, confessing to be in love with somebody else is an admission of unfaithfulness to one's beloved. "
Russell Baker
Yourself
Age
Fashion
" Few expected very much of Franklin Roosevelt on Inauguration Day in 1933. Like Barack Obama seventy-six years later, he was succeeding a failed Republican president, and Americans had voted for change. What that change might be Roosevelt never clearly said, probably because he himself didn't know. "
Russell Baker
Change
Said
Republican
" Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it. "
Russell Baker
Company
Longer
Misery
" Strategic thinkers were naturally rattled to find this outsider fooling around with their work. They had been thinking strategically when Reagan was just another movie actor playing opposite a chimpanzee, for heaven's sake. They think Reagan is too naive, too innocent, to grasp the intellectual complexities of cold war strategy. "
Russell Baker
Think
War
Work
" Listen once in a while. It's amazing what you can hear. "
Russell Baker
You
Once
Hear