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" Feel good about linking hands in human chain for good causes. "
Russell Baker
Feel Good
Feel
Good
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" It is fitting that yesteryear's swashbuckling newspaper reporter has turned into today's solemn young sobersides nursing a glass of watered white wine after a day of toiling over computer databases in a smoke-free, noise-free newsroom. "
Russell Baker
White
Wine
Today
" Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it. "
Russell Baker
You
Suffer
Summer
" Listen once in a while. It's amazing what you can hear. "
Russell Baker
You
Once
Hear
" Few expected very much of Franklin Roosevelt on Inauguration Day in 1933. Like Barack Obama seventy-six years later, he was succeeding a failed Republican president, and Americans had voted for change. What that change might be Roosevelt never clearly said, probably because he himself didn't know. "
Russell Baker
Change
Said
Republican
" Roosevelt's declaration that Americans had 'nothing to fear but fear itself' was a glorious piece of inspirational rhetoric and just as gloriously wrong. "
Russell Baker
Fear
Nothing
Rhetoric
" A day spent praising the earth and lamenting man's pollutionist history makes you feel like a superior, sensitive soul. "
Russell Baker
Soul
You
Earth
" Situation comedy on television has thrived for years on 'canned' laughter, grafted by gaglines by technicians using records of guffawing audiences that have been dead for years. "
Russell Baker
Comedy
Situation
Television
" Kingsley Amis was one of a trio of brilliant comic novelists who made English literature sparkle in the twentieth century. "
Russell Baker
Sparkle
Brilliant
Trio
" It's good for the soul to hear yourself as others hear you, and next time maybe, just maybe, you will not talk so much, so loudly, so brilliantly, so charmingly, so utterly shamelessly foolishly. "
Russell Baker
Yourself
You
Time
" An educated person is one who has learned that information almost always turns out to be at best incomplete and very often false, misleading, fictitious, mendacious - just dead wrong. "
Russell Baker
Education
Information
Best
" You can always tell folks from nonfolks. Folks like to feel good, like to smile for the camera when there's a big photo opportunity for a really good cause. "
Russell Baker
Opportunity
Feel Good
Good
" When it comes to cars, only two varieties of people are possible - cowards and fools. "
Russell Baker
People
Fools
Car
" Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost. "
Russell Baker
Break
Down
Work
" In an age when the fashion is to be in love with yourself, confessing to be in love with somebody else is an admission of unfaithfulness to one's beloved. "
Russell Baker
Yourself
Age
Fashion
" Objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories: those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost. "
Russell Baker
Break
Work
Three
" When sudden death takes a president, opportunities for new beginnings flourish among the ambitious and the tensions among such people can be dramatic, as they were when President Kennedy was killed. "
Russell Baker
Death
People
Opportunities
" Americans like fat books and thin women. "
Russell Baker
Women
Fat
Books
" A skillful playwright might have a good time with the story of the assassination of President William McKinley, and especially with the three most flamboyant political figures involved: Mark Hanna, Theodore Roosevelt, and Emma Goldman. "
Russell Baker
Three
Time
Story
" Serious journalism need not be solemn. "
Russell Baker
Serious
Need
Journalism
" I gave up on new poetry myself 30 years ago when most of it began to read like coded messages passing between lonely aliens in a hostile world. "
Russell Baker
World
Myself
Like
" What the New Yorker calls home would seem like a couple of closets to most Americans, yet he manages not only to live there but also to grow trees and cockroaches right on the premises. "
Russell Baker
New
Grow
Home
" It's always seemed odd to me that after a group of terrorists commits a vile and odious deed they rush messages to the public to claim credit for it. "
Russell Baker
Odd
Credit
Always
" The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately defeat him. "
Russell Baker
Resist
Objects
Defeat
" Don't try to make children grow up to be like you, or they may do it. "
Russell Baker
Grow
Parenting
You
" People who say you're just as old as you feel are all wrong, fortunately. "
Russell Baker
Say
Wrong
You
" Poetry is so vital to us until school spoils it. "
Russell Baker
Vital
Poetry
Until
" Rereading A.J. Liebling carries me happily back to an age when all good journalists knew they had plenty to be modest about, and were. "
Russell Baker
Me
Age
Modest
" The best discussion of trouble in boardroom and business office is found in newspapers' own financial pages and speeches by journalists in management jobs. "
Russell Baker
Business
Financial
Management
" Strategic thinkers were naturally rattled to find this outsider fooling around with their work. They had been thinking strategically when Reagan was just another movie actor playing opposite a chimpanzee, for heaven's sake. They think Reagan is too naive, too innocent, to grasp the intellectual complexities of cold war strategy. "
Russell Baker
Think
War
Work
" The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist. "
Russell Baker
Worst
Worst Thing
You