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" The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately defeat him. "

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" You can always tell folks from nonfolks. Folks like to feel good, like to smile for the camera when there's a big photo opportunity for a really good cause. "

" My natural instinct after doing something shameful is not to rush into the street boasting about it but to put on dark glasses and head for the next county, hoping nobody notices I've been in the neighborhood. "

" Objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories: those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost. "

" Journalism talk is part of the nonstop background noise of American life. "

" People who say you're just as old as you feel are all wrong, fortunately. "

" Except for politics, no business is scrutinized more exhaustively than journalism. "

" Those who remember Washington's cold war culture in the 1980s will recall the shocked reactions to Reagan's intervention. People interested in foreign policy were astonished when in 1985 he met alone at Geneva - alone, not a single strategic thinker at his elbow! - with the Soviet Communist master Gorbachev. "

" In an age when the fashion is to be in love with yourself, confessing to be in love with somebody else is an admission of unfaithfulness to one's beloved. "

" Rereading A.J. Liebling carries me happily back to an age when all good journalists knew they had plenty to be modest about, and were. "

" Anything that isn't opposed by about 40 percent of humanity is either an evil business or so unimportant that it simply doesn't matter. "

" Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it. "

" What the New Yorker calls home would seem like a couple of closets to most Americans, yet he manages not only to live there but also to grow trees and cockroaches right on the premises. "

" The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist. "

" Newspaper people, once celebrated as founts of ribald humor and uncouth fun, have of late lost all their gaiety, and small wonder. "

" Situation comedy on television has thrived for years on 'canned' laughter, grafted by gaglines by technicians using records of guffawing audiences that have been dead for years. "

" It is fitting that yesteryear's swashbuckling newspaper reporter has turned into today's solemn young sobersides nursing a glass of watered white wine after a day of toiling over computer databases in a smoke-free, noise-free newsroom. "

" A man writing a letter is a man in the act of thinking, and it was an exercise Reagan obviously enjoyed. After his first meeting with Gorbachev, for example, he sent a 'Dear Murph' letter about it to his old friend George Murphy, a former senator and actor who had once played Reagan's father in a film. "

" Journalism was being whittled away by a Wall Street theory that profits can be maximized by minimizing the product. "

" Anticipating that most poetry will be worse than carrying heavy luggage through O'Hare Airport, the public, to its loss, reads very little of it. "

" Strategic thinkers were naturally rattled to find this outsider fooling around with their work. They had been thinking strategically when Reagan was just another movie actor playing opposite a chimpanzee, for heaven's sake. They think Reagan is too naive, too innocent, to grasp the intellectual complexities of cold war strategy. "

" Caution: These verses may be hazardous to your solemnity. "

" I gave up on new poetry myself 30 years ago when most of it began to read like coded messages passing between lonely aliens in a hostile world. "

" Don't try to make children grow up to be like you, or they may do it. "

" Listen once in a while. It's amazing what you can hear. "

" It's good for the soul to hear yourself as others hear you, and next time maybe, just maybe, you will not talk so much, so loudly, so brilliantly, so charmingly, so utterly shamelessly foolishly. "

" You can't enjoy light verse with a heavy heart. "

" A group of politicians deciding to dump a President because his morals are bad is like the Mafia getting together to bump off the Godfather for not going to church on Sunday. "

" The best discussion of trouble in boardroom and business office is found in newspapers' own financial pages and speeches by journalists in management jobs. "

" Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say that what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. "

" Usually, terrible things that are done with the excuse that progress requires them are not really progress at all, but just terrible things. "