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" What the New Yorker calls home would seem like a couple of closets to most Americans, yet he manages not only to live there but also to grow trees and cockroaches right on the premises. "
Russell Baker
New
Grow
Home
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" People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have been left out of the pleasure. "
Russell Baker
Know
People
Out
" There is a growing literature about the multitude of journalism's problems, but most of it is concerned with the editorial side of the business, possibly because most people competent to write about journalism are not comfortable writing about finance. "
Russell Baker
Side
People
Writing
" Anything that isn't opposed by about 40 percent of humanity is either an evil business or so unimportant that it simply doesn't matter. "
Russell Baker
Evil
Business
Either
" An educated person is one who has learned that information almost always turns out to be at best incomplete and very often false, misleading, fictitious, mendacious - just dead wrong. "
Russell Baker
Education
Information
Best
" I gave up on new poetry myself 30 years ago when most of it began to read like coded messages passing between lonely aliens in a hostile world. "
Russell Baker
World
Myself
Like
" It is fitting that yesteryear's swashbuckling newspaper reporter has turned into today's solemn young sobersides nursing a glass of watered white wine after a day of toiling over computer databases in a smoke-free, noise-free newsroom. "
Russell Baker
White
Wine
Today
" You can't enjoy light verse with a heavy heart. "
Russell Baker
Heart
Verse
Light
" Like all young reporters - brilliant or hopelessly incompetent - I dreamed of the glamorous life of the foreign correspondent: prowling Vienna in a Burberry trench coat, speaking a dozen languages to dangerous women, narrowly escaping Sardinian bandits - the usual stuff that newspaper dreams are made of. "
Russell Baker
Newspaper
Women
Dreams
" It was Queen Elizabeth who made me a foreign correspondent. "
Russell Baker
Who
Elizabeth
Foreign
" When it comes to cars, only two varieties of people are possible - cowards and fools. "
Russell Baker
People
Fools
Car
" Letter writing was clearly important to Reagan. Even as president he kept dashing off letters to friends, pen pals, media people, statesmen, critics, and the kind of people who write to presidents never expecting a reply. "
Russell Baker
Writing
Media
Pen
" Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost. "
Russell Baker
Break
Down
Work
" Poetry is so vital to us until school spoils it. "
Russell Baker
Vital
Poetry
Until
" The American press has the blues. Too many authorities have assured it that its days are numbered, too many good newspapers are in ruins. "
Russell Baker
Many
Days
Blues
" A group of politicians deciding to dump a President because his morals are bad is like the Mafia getting together to bump off the Godfather for not going to church on Sunday. "
Russell Baker
Sunday
Church
Group
" Gerald Boyd was a classic specimen of the self-made man. Born poor, he worked and studied his way up out of poverty under the guidance of his widowed grandmother. "
Russell Baker
Way
Born
Grandmother
" Feel good about linking hands in human chain for good causes. "
Russell Baker
Feel Good
Feel
Good
" Kingsley Amis was one of a trio of brilliant comic novelists who made English literature sparkle in the twentieth century. "
Russell Baker
Sparkle
Brilliant
Trio
" Americans like fat books and thin women. "
Russell Baker
Women
Fat
Books
" Few expected very much of Franklin Roosevelt on Inauguration Day in 1933. Like Barack Obama seventy-six years later, he was succeeding a failed Republican president, and Americans had voted for change. What that change might be Roosevelt never clearly said, probably because he himself didn't know. "
Russell Baker
Change
Said
Republican
" When sudden death takes a president, opportunities for new beginnings flourish among the ambitious and the tensions among such people can be dramatic, as they were when President Kennedy was killed. "
Russell Baker
Death
People
Opportunities
" Children rarely want to know who their parents were before they were parents, and when age finally stirs their curiosity, there is no parent left to tell them. "
Russell Baker
Know
Parents
Children
" Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say that what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. "
Russell Baker
Shot
Say
Need
" People who say you're just as old as you feel are all wrong, fortunately. "
Russell Baker
Say
Wrong
You
" It seems to be a law in American life that whatever enriches us anywhere except in the wallet inevitably becomes uneconomic. "
Russell Baker
Seems
Life
Law
" American foreign policy had still not recovered from its victory over communism when George W. Bush and Condoleezza Rice took over at the White House in 2001. "
Russell Baker
American
Communism
Victory
" It was clear soon after his election that Obama, like FDR, wanted to start dealing with the economic crisis immediately after his inauguration. "
Russell Baker
Like
Start
Crisis
" Those who remember Washington's cold war culture in the 1980s will recall the shocked reactions to Reagan's intervention. People interested in foreign policy were astonished when in 1985 he met alone at Geneva - alone, not a single strategic thinker at his elbow! - with the Soviet Communist master Gorbachev. "
Russell Baker
People
Culture
Alone
" Journalism talk is part of the nonstop background noise of American life. "
Russell Baker
Life
American
Noise
" The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist. "
Russell Baker
Worst
Worst Thing
You