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" The only two characters I can play convincingly are myself and a dumber and sweeter version of myself. "

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" Religion is such an important part of so many people's lives, and I don't understand it at all. "

" My childhood was great because my family has an amazing sense of humor, and it was just all making videos and jokes and doing skits and things. "

" Even the most embarrassing mishap can be spun into comedic gold. "

" I want to find a way to speak to the broadest audience possible. "

" For me, cerebral palsy wasn't the biggest deal, because I always had it. You know, you always work with what you got. "

" Most people are really dedicated to doing good things. "

" I've accepted that we've all got crap to deal with and problems that we're fighting not to be defined by. At the end of the day, we all want the same stuff: fulfillment, love, support, comfort, and a hot-air balloon with laser guns attached to it. The most important thing is that we appreciate the crazy ride we're on. "

" My grandmother was a church organist, but we only went on Easter and Christmas Eve sometimes. "

" I think you can feel good about yourself at any size and any shape. Nobody should be made to feel inferior because they have a certain body type. "

" Depending on where my self-confidence was, growing up, I would use humor either to bring people closer, or to keep them away from certain feelings I had. "

" I use an electric wheelchair because I have no sense of balance, and muscle spasticity has arched my spine like a cat's, while my legs are really just for show. "

" Over the years, I learned that in my career, unlike in life, sometimes my wheelchair is its own automatic door opener. I was able to win the OWN competition by applying one simple principle: be funny, and admit you suck before anyone else can call you out on it. In other words, make the narrative of your failure a comedy. "

" Spontaneity is what travel is all about. "

" My parents and my brother instilled in me my sense of humor. That's kind of the way we communicate with each other, and it's always been a way for me to get to know people. "

" Religion is something we don't talk about, and it is used by uneducated people as a weapon to divide us as opposed to connect with each other. "

" I've been a comedian, hosted travel shows, explored world religions, started improv troupes, given keynote speeches at conferences around the country, and had a milk shake named after me called the Handicappuccino. "

" My stance has always been that my issue compared to everything else going on in the world is really, really small. Once you realize that, you can get a lot more out of being a part of the solution. "

" I'd wanted to be famous for as long as I could remember. "

" I want to make sure that people know that I can only be myself - I can't be a spokesperson for people with disabilities, because everybody has a completely different experience. I'm glad that I'm able to inspire parents to see one way to deal with it, but at the same time, I tell a lot of dirty jokes. "

" There's no denying it: I was a crappy baby who failed his way into this world, and I've been making the best of it ever since. "

" I'd love to be 'People Magazine''s Sexiest Man Alive, but I think that that's a ways off. I have to stop wearing sweat pants, and then we'll work on that. "

" Humour allows people to exhale a little. "

" I have one of the worst voices in the history of recorded time. "

" It's amazing how many companies aren't really in tune to the needs of different travelers. There's just so many embarrassing situations that you go through when you travel. You have to have a sense of humor about it and take it in stride. My whole approach is to embrace spontaneity. "

" This country is pretty amazing. "

" My family is weird in a very good way because I was always exposed to the arts. "

" My grandma was a church organist for 40 years, and she got me into jazz music and great songwriters, Harold Arlen, George Gershwin, all those folks. I can't do it, but I have a profound respect for it. "

" It's ridiculous that we are in a place where we feel like we can classify and dismiss certain groups of people just because of the way they look, or we have these standards of health - like, cellulite is something you need to get rid of. No, it isn't. It's just a part of people's bodies. "

" When I get real excited, my muscles go into spasm, so they just shake. "

" Humor disarms people. It opens them up to starting a dialogue about things they wouldn't normally talk about. I don't understand how people who don't have a sense of humor get through life. "