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" There's no denying it: I was a crappy baby who failed his way into this world, and I've been making the best of it ever since. "

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" When I get real excited, my muscles go into spasm, so they just shake. "

" Talking to people is important to me as someone who has cerebral palsy. I know what it's like to have people not talking to me because they are scared they would ask the wrong question, but I would rather have an honest dialogue as long as it comes from an honest place. "

" I have one of the worst voices in the history of recorded time. "

" Depending on where my self-confidence was, growing up, I would use humor either to bring people closer, or to keep them away from certain feelings I had. "

" Even when something sad or tragic happens, I find a way to look at it in a positive light. People who don't have a sense of humor must be so sad all the time. "

" My childhood was great because my family has an amazing sense of humor, and it was just all making videos and jokes and doing skits and things. "

" Over the years, I've learned that a sense of humor is the only skill that allows you to turn sucking at life into a career. "

" My family is weird in a very good way because I was always exposed to the arts. "

" Spontaneity is what travel is all about. "

" Even the most embarrassing mishap can be spun into comedic gold. "

" Religion is something we don't talk about, and it is used by uneducated people as a weapon to divide us as opposed to connect with each other. "

" The only two characters I can play convincingly are myself and a dumber and sweeter version of myself. "

" I've always wanted to do a travel show for people who never thought they could. "

" I've accepted that we've all got crap to deal with and problems that we're fighting not to be defined by. At the end of the day, we all want the same stuff: fulfillment, love, support, comfort, and a hot-air balloon with laser guns attached to it. The most important thing is that we appreciate the crazy ride we're on. "

" I was basically the person at Disney World that was in charge of clearing the park when it was closed... I was the guy... telling them to 'get the hell out and have a magical day.' "

" The Internet is crazy, and I love it! "

" I'm down for adventure and up for anything. "

" Religion is such an important part of so many people's lives, and I don't understand it at all. "

" For me, cerebral palsy wasn't the biggest deal, because I always had it. You know, you always work with what you got. "

" When people think of me, I want them to think of a travel show host who's really funny and good at his job, and I think eventually the CP won't even play into it, or at least that's the goal. "

" When I was five years old, I auditioned for the role of 'Tiny Tim in A Christmas Carol.' "

" We've all got hurdles we have to overcome, and mine are not necessarily any bigger than anyone else's. "

" People tend to treat people with disabilities sort of like they're aliens from another planet. It doesn't come from a bad place; it comes from a place of, 'I have no idea what this disability entails, and I don't want to offend anyone or make them feel awful.' "

" My parents and my brother instilled in me my sense of humor. That's kind of the way we communicate with each other, and it's always been a way for me to get to know people. "

" My stance has always been that my issue compared to everything else going on in the world is really, really small. Once you realize that, you can get a lot more out of being a part of the solution. "

" My grandma was a church organist for 40 years, and she got me into jazz music and great songwriters, Harold Arlen, George Gershwin, all those folks. I can't do it, but I have a profound respect for it. "

" Most people are really dedicated to doing good things. "

" New Yorkers - the people are so honest. If you're sucking on stage, they'll let you know. "

" I'd love to be 'People Magazine''s Sexiest Man Alive, but I think that that's a ways off. I have to stop wearing sweat pants, and then we'll work on that. "

" When I got my Oprah money, the first thing I bought was a really nice electronic bidet toilet seat. "