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" I'd love to be 'People Magazine''s Sexiest Man Alive, but I think that that's a ways off. I have to stop wearing sweat pants, and then we'll work on that. "

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" I don't subscribe to the idea that if you don't have the body you want, you can't be proud of the body you have. I think you can do both. "

" My parents and my brother instilled in me my sense of humor. That's kind of the way we communicate with each other, and it's always been a way for me to get to know people. "

" Humor disarms people. It opens them up to starting a dialogue about things they wouldn't normally talk about. I don't understand how people who don't have a sense of humor get through life. "

" My parents instilled in me a sense of self that I was more than just a diagnosis or a condition. "

" Over the years, I learned that in my career, unlike in life, sometimes my wheelchair is its own automatic door opener. I was able to win the OWN competition by applying one simple principle: be funny, and admit you suck before anyone else can call you out on it. In other words, make the narrative of your failure a comedy. "

" My stance has always been that my issue compared to everything else going on in the world is really, really small. Once you realize that, you can get a lot more out of being a part of the solution. "

" There's no denying it: I was a crappy baby who failed his way into this world, and I've been making the best of it ever since. "

" I was basically the person at Disney World that was in charge of clearing the park when it was closed... I was the guy... telling them to 'get the hell out and have a magical day.' "

" I want to make sure that people know that I can only be myself - I can't be a spokesperson for people with disabilities, because everybody has a completely different experience. I'm glad that I'm able to inspire parents to see one way to deal with it, but at the same time, I tell a lot of dirty jokes. "

" My childhood was great because my family has an amazing sense of humor, and it was just all making videos and jokes and doing skits and things. "

" Humour allows people to exhale a little. "

" I use an electric wheelchair because I have no sense of balance, and muscle spasticity has arched my spine like a cat's, while my legs are really just for show. "

" Over the years, I've learned that a sense of humor is the only skill that allows you to turn sucking at life into a career. "

" When I got my Oprah money, the first thing I bought was a really nice electronic bidet toilet seat. "

" My family is weird in a very good way because I was always exposed to the arts. "

" A lot of the time, when people meet someone in a wheelchair, or with some disability, it's the first thing they notice, but they don't know how to react. "

" I've accepted that we've all got crap to deal with and problems that we're fighting not to be defined by. At the end of the day, we all want the same stuff: fulfillment, love, support, comfort, and a hot-air balloon with laser guns attached to it. The most important thing is that we appreciate the crazy ride we're on. "

" My grandma was a church organist for 40 years, and she got me into jazz music and great songwriters, Harold Arlen, George Gershwin, all those folks. I can't do it, but I have a profound respect for it. "

" This country is pretty amazing. "

" When I get real excited, my muscles go into spasm, so they just shake. "

" I think you can feel good about yourself at any size and any shape. Nobody should be made to feel inferior because they have a certain body type. "

" I'd wanted to be famous for as long as I could remember. "

" Even the most embarrassing mishap can be spun into comedic gold. "

" I've always wanted to do a travel show for people who never thought they could. "

" It's ridiculous that we are in a place where we feel like we can classify and dismiss certain groups of people just because of the way they look, or we have these standards of health - like, cellulite is something you need to get rid of. No, it isn't. It's just a part of people's bodies. "

" For me, cerebral palsy wasn't the biggest deal, because I always had it. You know, you always work with what you got. "

" Religion is such an important part of so many people's lives, and I don't understand it at all. "

" I've been a comedian, hosted travel shows, explored world religions, started improv troupes, given keynote speeches at conferences around the country, and had a milk shake named after me called the Handicappuccino. "

" The only two characters I can play convincingly are myself and a dumber and sweeter version of myself. "

" I'm down for adventure and up for anything. "