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" I have one of the worst voices in the history of recorded time. "

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" I've always wanted to do a travel show for people who never thought they could. "

" When I get real excited, my muscles go into spasm, so they just shake. "

" My family is weird in a very good way because I was always exposed to the arts. "

" My grandmother was a church organist, but we only went on Easter and Christmas Eve sometimes. "

" There's no denying it: I was a crappy baby who failed his way into this world, and I've been making the best of it ever since. "

" The Internet is crazy, and I love it! "

" I want to find a way to speak to the broadest audience possible. "

" My parents instilled in me a sense of self that I was more than just a diagnosis or a condition. "

" For me, cerebral palsy wasn't the biggest deal, because I always had it. You know, you always work with what you got. "

" Over the years, I learned that in my career, unlike in life, sometimes my wheelchair is its own automatic door opener. I was able to win the OWN competition by applying one simple principle: be funny, and admit you suck before anyone else can call you out on it. In other words, make the narrative of your failure a comedy. "

" Depending on where my self-confidence was, growing up, I would use humor either to bring people closer, or to keep them away from certain feelings I had. "

" People tend to treat people with disabilities sort of like they're aliens from another planet. It doesn't come from a bad place; it comes from a place of, 'I have no idea what this disability entails, and I don't want to offend anyone or make them feel awful.' "

" Even when something sad or tragic happens, I find a way to look at it in a positive light. People who don't have a sense of humor must be so sad all the time. "

" We've all got hurdles we have to overcome, and mine are not necessarily any bigger than anyone else's. "

" I'd wanted to be famous for as long as I could remember. "

" Over the years, I've learned that a sense of humor is the only skill that allows you to turn sucking at life into a career. "

" It's ridiculous that we are in a place where we feel like we can classify and dismiss certain groups of people just because of the way they look, or we have these standards of health - like, cellulite is something you need to get rid of. No, it isn't. It's just a part of people's bodies. "

" It's amazing how many companies aren't really in tune to the needs of different travelers. There's just so many embarrassing situations that you go through when you travel. You have to have a sense of humor about it and take it in stride. My whole approach is to embrace spontaneity. "

" When I was five years old, I auditioned for the role of 'Tiny Tim in A Christmas Carol.' "

" Even the most embarrassing mishap can be spun into comedic gold. "

" I'm down for adventure and up for anything. "

" I don't subscribe to the idea that if you don't have the body you want, you can't be proud of the body you have. I think you can do both. "

" When I got my Oprah money, the first thing I bought was a really nice electronic bidet toilet seat. "

" Religion is something we don't talk about, and it is used by uneducated people as a weapon to divide us as opposed to connect with each other. "

" I've accepted that we've all got crap to deal with and problems that we're fighting not to be defined by. At the end of the day, we all want the same stuff: fulfillment, love, support, comfort, and a hot-air balloon with laser guns attached to it. The most important thing is that we appreciate the crazy ride we're on. "

" Spontaneity is what travel is all about. "

" My childhood was great because my family has an amazing sense of humor, and it was just all making videos and jokes and doing skits and things. "

" My stance has always been that my issue compared to everything else going on in the world is really, really small. Once you realize that, you can get a lot more out of being a part of the solution. "

" My grandma was a church organist for 40 years, and she got me into jazz music and great songwriters, Harold Arlen, George Gershwin, all those folks. I can't do it, but I have a profound respect for it. "

" When people think of me, I want them to think of a travel show host who's really funny and good at his job, and I think eventually the CP won't even play into it, or at least that's the goal. "