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" The thing with film is that it's so wide-reaching compared to comedy. When I release my comedy special, half a million people will see it. If I release a movie, five to ten million people will see it. "

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" Over the years, I managed to develop this comedy career, went from opening act to headliner at comedy clubs, to playing concert halls, and had an off-Broadway show with 'Sleepwalk With Me.' "

Mike Birbiglia

Concert

Opening

" You know the quickest way to get comedians to hate you? Do Letterman at age 24. "

" Sometimes my fans are too nice. "

" I consider Lena Dunham a comedian. "

" You have to be delusional to be a comedian. "

" I almost can't even put to words how happy I am that I got married. "

" Once you start writing something obsessively, it's almost like someone has to rip it from your hands in order for you to put it down. "

Mike Birbiglia

Start

Hands

" Nobody knows the life of the working comic. "

" I love 'Bullets Over Broadway,' but I'm pretty sure Woody Allen hasn't killed somebody. "

" Sometimes people say, 'You're the best at digressions.' And that's actually a real compliment to me. "

" I was raised Catholic, and then I kind of wandered away somewhere in high-school. I never got confirmed, which is a big deal. "

" I'm incapable of feeling any joy. "

" I've yet to write a stand-up show that isn't autobiographical. "

" I'm a comedian, and the other comedians are played by comedians, the same way that in 'Once' there are the musicians that hang out together. "

" I grew up in Shrewsbury, Massachusetts and went to college in Washington D.C. "

Mike Birbiglia

Massachusetts

Washington

" Once you know how to make a movie, you can't not make a movie. "

" When I moved to New York, I was wide-eyed. I was nice to everyone, which comedians hate. "

" I just like, when you look at people who have long careers in film, they're able to make films that are far away from themselves, because they're metaphorical. It creates more opportunities, I think. "

" I am intimidating no one in America. No one feels like they are below me in any way. They feel like they are absolutely either at or above my level and 100-percent comfortable talking to me. "

" Ultimately, jokes are this really special thing that we can all share. It's exciting to have basically a thousand people in a room together that can laugh at the same time, but I think of it almost as, like, a religious experience. "

Mike Birbiglia

Experience

Time

" Directing a movie is a little bit like being back in student government and putting on the homecoming dance. You're like, 'You put up the streamers, and you hire the DJ, and you get the punch bowl.' Some people are just like, 'This dance sucks.' And you're like, 'No no, this dance is awesome!' You have to be really positive. "

" Prose is all about embellishing and describing. "

" I would say that I love pizza so much that sometimes I eat pizza while I'm eating pizza. Like, I'm so content with myself with how it's going that I'm like, 'I should do this more,' not realizing that the mouth is full. I'm just cramming pizza into my mouth. "

" I drank the Kool-Aid of being a network star. Once it didn't happen, I realized it wasn't the best version of my comedy. "

" I think because I've been working in front of audiences for so many years, I'm able to take in the input, good or bad, and just say, 'This is the part I agree with that you're saying, and these are the parts I don't agree with.' "

" The list of fun and easily-fixed brain diseases is very short. "

" When I was growing up, I didn't know who Jewish people were, what it was to be Jewish. "

Mike Birbiglia

Know

People

" Directing your first film is like showing up to the field trip in seventh grade, getting on the bus, and making an announcement, 'So today I'm driving the bus.' And everybody's like, 'What?' And you're like, 'I'm gonna drive the bus.' And they're like, 'But you don't know how to drive the bus.' "

" I think the thing I had to be careful about while writing a book was not to say anything that was revealing about other people that they would be uncomfortable with. I didn't want to make people angry - that's a real risk. "

" Making a film is beyond exciting. It's so exciting, it's exhausting. "