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" There is an odd assumption that compassion and care are finite or that critics can be everything to everyone - commenting on everything simply because they can. That's not what cultural criticism is. "

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" I love, but I am not entirely sure how to be loved: how to be seen and known for the utterly flawed woman I am. It demands surrender. It demands acknowledging that I am not perfect, but perhaps I deserve affection anyway. "

Roxane Gay

I Am

Woman

Not Perfect

" The expansive anarchy of the Internet continues to lull us into believing that, because we can see something, that something should be seen. Because we can say something, there is something that must be said. "

" Day after day with them, I see more and more of my parents in me. I see where all my quirks come from. I see my future. "

Roxane Gay

Future

Day

" In Hollywood, a normal-size body is unruly. "

" It would be easy to assume that the open letter is a symptom of the Internet age. Such is not the case. In 1774, Benjamin Franklin wrote an open letter to the prime minister of Great Britain, Lord North - a satirical call for the imposition of martial law in the colonies. "

" We have to believe that we can hold different points of view without labeling each other bad feminists. "

" It's so hard to write about countries like Haiti because there's truths behind the misperceptions people have. But there's so much more. There are multiple truths. "

Roxane Gay

Hard

People

" There has been, and there will continue to be, vigorous discussions about race in America. I worry that little will come of these discussions because we aren't addressing what must be done to change the current racial climate. "

" There are all kinds of people who continue to be largely ignored by advertisers, whose lives largely go unseen. They deserve their moment. "

" Demands for solidarity can quickly turn into demands for groupthink, making it difficult to express nuance. "

" I would love for everyone to be a feminist, but I have to respect people's choices. If you don't want to be a feminist and don't want to claim feminism, that's entirely your right. "

" If we look too closely at many historical figures, we won't like what we see. "

" It's an amusing idea to some, this feminism thing - this audacious notion that women should be able to move through the world as freely, and enjoy the same inalienable rights and bodily autonomy, as men. At least, that's the impression given when feminism and feminists are all too often the targets of lazy humor. "

" We cannot sway extremists with rational thought or with our ideas of right and wrong. "

" I think it was really entering my 30s that I began to embrace feminism and call myself a feminist. "

" Margaret Sanger didn't just introduce the idea of birth control into our culture at large, she freed women from indenture to their bodies. "

" Want nothing but the best for your friends because when your friends are happy and successful, it's probably going to be easier for you to be happy. "

" I read too many romance novels during my formative years. I have a penchant for romantic comedies. I understand why 'Romeo and Juliet' came to such a pass. "

" I support anything that broadens the message of gender equality and tempers the stigma of the feminist label. We run into trouble, though, when we celebrate celebrity feminism while avoiding the actual work of feminism. "

" We have cellphones and smartphones and iDevices and laptops and the ability to be perpetually connected. We never have to miss anything, significant or insignificant. "

" I cut an imposing figure. I am large, and I'm tall, and I have tattoos. I am actually really quiet and shy, but maybe people see me, and they don't want to step out of line, or equate disagreement with stepping out of line with a writer they like. "

" I want to take the time to think through how I feel and why I feel. I don't want to feign expertise on matters I know nothing about for the purpose of offering someone else my immediate reaction for their consumption. "

" I have known beaches, but I have no particular fondness for them. I don't like sand in my crevices. I don't like sand at all. I don't enjoy all that sunshine and heat without the benefit of climate control. "

" I have never dreamed of being a princess. I have not longed for Prince Charming. I have and do long for something resembling a happily ever after. I am supposed to be above such flights of fantasy, but I am not. I am enamored of fairy tales. "

" My parents have been married for 42 years. Their marriage has been - from what I can see - a happy one. "

" Maybe true love isn't out there for me, but I can sublimate my loneliness with the notion that true love is out there for someone. "

" The first amendment makes it clear that we are free to practice religion without government interference. The Constitution also establishes the separation of church and state so that the laws we live by our never guided by religious zeal. "

" Definitely, there is a sense in my writing that people now know me in a personal way. And to an extent, that's true because I write about very personal things, and I use the personal often to contextualize some of these sociopolitical issues that we're dealing with. And to an extent, they're right. They know something about me. "

" I think one of the most important things we can do as feminists is acknowledge that, even though we have womanhood in common, we have to start to think about the ways in which we're different, how those differences affect us, and what kinds of needs we have based on our differences. "

Roxane Gay

Differences

Think

" If a woman wants to take her husband's name, that's her choice, and I still think she can be feminist while doing that. "