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" Margaret Sanger didn't just introduce the idea of birth control into our culture at large, she freed women from indenture to their bodies. "
Roxane Gay
Control
Culture
She
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" There are all kinds of people who continue to be largely ignored by advertisers, whose lives largely go unseen. They deserve their moment. "
Roxane Gay
Whose
People
Deserve
" Long walks on the beach are the supposed holy grail of a romantic evening. The beach becomes a kind of utopia - the place where all our dreams come true. "
Roxane Gay
Long
Place
Dreams
" You cannot reason with people who don't recognize the humanity in all of us. "
Roxane Gay
You
Reason
Who
" The first amendment makes it clear that we are free to practice religion without government interference. The Constitution also establishes the separation of church and state so that the laws we live by our never guided by religious zeal. "
Roxane Gay
Government
Practice
Live
" Want nothing but the best for your friends because when your friends are happy and successful, it's probably going to be easier for you to be happy. "
Roxane Gay
Happy
Best
Be Happy
" Something outrageous, in the truest sense of the word, is always happening. On social networks, we're always voicing our reactions to these outrageous events. We read essays and 'think pieces' about these outrageous events. We comment on the commentary. We do this because we can. "
Roxane Gay
Sense
Comment
Always
" This is the real problem feminism faces. Too many people are willfully ignorant about what the word means and what the movement aims to achieve. "
Roxane Gay
Ignorant
People
Achieve
" Feminism is, I hope, a way to a better future for everyone who inhabits this world. Feminism should not be something that needs a seductive marketing campaign. The idea of women moving through the world as freely as men should sell itself. "
Roxane Gay
Hope
Future
Men
" I have never dreamed of being a princess. I have not longed for Prince Charming. I have and do long for something resembling a happily ever after. I am supposed to be above such flights of fantasy, but I am not. I am enamored of fairy tales. "
Roxane Gay
Fantasy
I Am
Princess
" Social media is something of a double-edged sword. At its best, social media offers unprecedented opportunities for marginalized people to speak and bring much needed attention to the issues they face. At its worst, social media also offers 'everyone' an unprecedented opportunity to share in collective outrage without reflection. "
Roxane Gay
Best
People
Reflection
" It would be easy to assume that the open letter is a symptom of the Internet age. Such is not the case. In 1774, Benjamin Franklin wrote an open letter to the prime minister of Great Britain, Lord North - a satirical call for the imposition of martial law in the colonies. "
Roxane Gay
Easy
Great
Internet
" We bear witness to the worst of human brutality, retweet what we have witnessed, and then we move on to the next atrocity. There is always more atrocity. "
Roxane Gay
Worst
Move On
Human
" Feminism is just an idea. It's a philosophy. It's about the equality of women in all realms. It's not about man-hating. It's not about being humorless. We have to let go of these misconceptions that have plagued feminism for 40, 50 years. "
Roxane Gay
Feminism
Philosophy
Women
" I am failing as a woman. I am failing as a feminist. To freely accept the feminist label would not be fair to good feminists. If I am, indeed, a feminist, I am a rather bad one. I am a mess of contradictions. "
Roxane Gay
I Am
Bad
Woman
" There is an odd assumption that compassion and care are finite or that critics can be everything to everyone - commenting on everything simply because they can. That's not what cultural criticism is. "
Roxane Gay
Everyone
Compassion
Criticism
" A lot of ink is given over to mythologizing female friendships as curious, fragile relationships that are always intensely fraught. Stop reading writing that encourages this mythology. "
Roxane Gay
Relationships
Reading
Curious
" I keep trying to imagine a universe in which too many public figures declaring themselves feminists would be a bad thing. "
Roxane Gay
Trying
Keep
Bad
" I believe in the freedom of expression, unequivocally - though, as I have written before, I wish more people would understand that freedom of expression is not freedom from consequence. "
Roxane Gay
Wish
Believe
Freedom
" If you feel like it's hard to be friends with women, consider that maybe women aren't the problem. Maybe it's just you. "
Roxane Gay
Hard
Feel
You
" Beyonce is not above critique. As a feminist herself, I hope Beyonce would welcome it. "
Roxane Gay
Feminist
Above
Welcome
" I think one of the most important things we can do as feminists is acknowledge that, even though we have womanhood in common, we have to start to think about the ways in which we're different, how those differences affect us, and what kinds of needs we have based on our differences. "
Roxane Gay
Differences
Us
Think
" When I was a child, my parents took my brothers and me to Port-au-Prince during the summer so we could get to know the country of our ancestors. Because Haiti is an island, the beach is everywhere. Haitians are particular, even snobby, about beaches. "
Roxane Gay
Me
Parents
Summer
" I am totally down with disagreement. I don't like Haterade, but disagreement is wonderful. When someone disagrees, we try to reach common ground. That's good. "
Roxane Gay
Reach
Down
Someone
" I try to understand faith and religion. I was raised by wonderful Catholic parents who were deeply faithful and taught us that God is a God of love. "
Roxane Gay
Try
Religion
Parents
" That's what is always fascinating about racism - how it is allowed, if not encouraged, to flourish freely in public spaces, the way racism and bigotry are so often unquestioned. "
Roxane Gay
Always
Way
Racism
" If a woman wants to take her husband's name, that's her choice, and I still think she can be feminist while doing that. "
Roxane Gay
Husband
Think
Woman
" I love, but I am not entirely sure how to be loved: how to be seen and known for the utterly flawed woman I am. It demands surrender. It demands acknowledging that I am not perfect, but perhaps I deserve affection anyway. "
Roxane Gay
I Am
Woman
Not Perfect
" The open letter has always been an interesting rhetorical strategy - a way of delivering a pointed message to a specific individual or group while also reaching a wide audience. "
Roxane Gay
Audience
Interesting
Strategy
" I reject the idea that when young women make choices with which we disagree, they are acting without autonomy. "
Roxane Gay
Acting
Young
Women
" I live in Indiana and teach at Purdue University, a wonderful school with some of the brightest students I have ever had the privilege of working with. My colleagues are powerful and intelligent and kind. The cost of living is low, the prairie is wide, and on clear nights, I can see all the stars in the sky above. "
Roxane Gay
Stars
School
Powerful