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" If we look too closely at many historical figures, we won't like what we see. "
Roxane Gay
Look
Historical
Many
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" No one is helped when cultural critics use their voices irresponsibly. "
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Critics
Voices
Use
" I was in love with the idea of love, so I created elaborate fictions for my relationships - fictions that allowed me to believe that what any given paramour and I shared looked a lot like love. "
Roxane Gay
Like
Love
Relationships
" I think it was really entering my 30s that I began to embrace feminism and call myself a feminist. "
Roxane Gay
Myself
Call
Embrace
" I think one of the most important things we can do as feminists is acknowledge that, even though we have womanhood in common, we have to start to think about the ways in which we're different, how those differences affect us, and what kinds of needs we have based on our differences. "
Roxane Gay
Differences
Us
Think
" Pink is my favourite colour. I used to say my favourite colour was black to be cool, but it is pink - all shades of pink. If I have an accessory, it is probably pink. "
Roxane Gay
Shades
Cool
Say
" Want nothing but the best for your friends because when your friends are happy and successful, it's probably going to be easier for you to be happy. "
Roxane Gay
Happy
Best
Be Happy
" Love your friends' kids, even if you don't want or like children. Just do it. "
Roxane Gay
Children
Want
You
" I would love for everyone to be a feminist, but I have to respect people's choices. If you don't want to be a feminist and don't want to claim feminism, that's entirely your right. "
Roxane Gay
Respect
Love
You
" After the Boston Marathon bombings, people shared grief and outrage on social media. "
Roxane Gay
People
Social Media
Grief
" I try to understand faith and religion. I was raised by wonderful Catholic parents who were deeply faithful and taught us that God is a God of love. "
Roxane Gay
Try
Religion
Parents
" Florida is a strange place: hot, beautiful, ugly. I love it here, and how nothing makes sense but still, somehow, there is a rhythm. "
Roxane Gay
Sense
Ugly
Beautiful
" I keep trying to imagine a universe in which too many public figures declaring themselves feminists would be a bad thing. "
Roxane Gay
Trying
Keep
Bad
" Maybe true love isn't out there for me, but I can sublimate my loneliness with the notion that true love is out there for someone. "
Roxane Gay
Loneliness
Love
Love Is
" There is an odd assumption that compassion and care are finite or that critics can be everything to everyone - commenting on everything simply because they can. That's not what cultural criticism is. "
Roxane Gay
Everyone
Compassion
Criticism
" The open letter has always been an interesting rhetorical strategy - a way of delivering a pointed message to a specific individual or group while also reaching a wide audience. "
Roxane Gay
Audience
Interesting
Strategy
" Public intellectuals are often put in the position of having their words, no matter how off-the-cuff, treated as doctrine. "
Roxane Gay
Public
Position
Words
" I think Lena Dunham is a very bright and very interesting writer, and what she's accomplished at such a young age absolutely impresses me. "
Roxane Gay
She
Age
Interesting
" I have never dreamed of being a princess. I have not longed for Prince Charming. I have and do long for something resembling a happily ever after. I am supposed to be above such flights of fantasy, but I am not. I am enamored of fairy tales. "
Roxane Gay
Fantasy
I Am
Princess
" I cut an imposing figure. I am large, and I'm tall, and I have tattoos. I am actually really quiet and shy, but maybe people see me, and they don't want to step out of line, or equate disagreement with stepping out of line with a writer they like. "
Roxane Gay
I Am
Quiet
Shy
" I live in Indiana and teach at Purdue University, a wonderful school with some of the brightest students I have ever had the privilege of working with. My colleagues are powerful and intelligent and kind. The cost of living is low, the prairie is wide, and on clear nights, I can see all the stars in the sky above. "
Roxane Gay
Stars
School
Powerful
" It's an amusing idea to some, this feminism thing - this audacious notion that women should be able to move through the world as freely, and enjoy the same inalienable rights and bodily autonomy, as men. At least, that's the impression given when feminism and feminists are all too often the targets of lazy humor. "
Roxane Gay
Lazy
Enjoy
Women
" There are all kinds of people who continue to be largely ignored by advertisers, whose lives largely go unseen. They deserve their moment. "
Roxane Gay
Whose
People
Deserve
" In Haiti, beach bodies are simply bodies, and beach reads are simply books, because the beach is all around you. "
Roxane Gay
Reads
Haiti
Books
" Everyone else thinks I'm a nonfiction writer. I think it's because my nonfiction is easier to find. But I write both in equal measure. I love writing fiction because I can totally lose myself, and I get to make up the rules of the world that I'm writing. "
Roxane Gay
Myself
Love
Think
" I have never been married. I don't know if I will ever marry, though I hope to. When I am asked why I have not married, I explain that my parents have been happily married for 42 years. The bar feels so very high for that kind of commitment. "
Roxane Gay
Parents
Know
I Am
" I am 39. I am single. I am a black woman. I have too many advanced degrees. Many a news story tells me finding true love is likely a hopeless proposition. Now is the time when I need to believe in fairy tales. "
Roxane Gay
Love Is
Woman
True Love
" What worries me is that 'post-racial' America is not that different from the Americas that have preceded us, and it might not ever be. "
Roxane Gay
Ever
Me
Might
" I have a job I'm pretty good at. I am in charge of things. I am on committees. People respect me and take my counsel. I want to be strong and professional, but I resent how hard I have to work to be taken seriously, to receive a fraction of the consideration I might otherwise receive. "
Roxane Gay
Job
Me
Work
" I'm sick of hearing, thinking and talking about Woody Allen. Nonetheless, the allegations against him continue to capture our national attention because so much of the story is strange and sordid. "
Roxane Gay
Sick
Attention
Thinking
" I want to take the time to think through how I feel and why I feel. I don't want to feign expertise on matters I know nothing about for the purpose of offering someone else my immediate reaction for their consumption. "
Roxane Gay
Time
Feel
Purpose