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" There's no need for me to get married. I live with someone; we're happy; end of story. "
Simon Cowell
Need
Story
Me
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" Anything I shouldn't laugh at makes me laugh. I mean, I'm bad at that, when somebody is singing something terribly and I'm thinking to myself, 'If I laugh now, this is the absolute worst thing I could ever do,' and then I start laughing and I can't stop. "
Simon Cowell
Singing
Thinking
Laugh
" When someone asks, 'Does success make you into a monster?' I always say, 'No, it enables you to be a monster.' "
Simon Cowell
Make
Say
Always
" I didn't have any qualifications when I left school - I had three O-levels. "
Simon Cowell
School
Three
Left
" You are a saucy little thing aren't you? "
Simon Cowell
Little
You
Saucy
" I work out three or four times a week, I have Botox, take tons of vitamins and vitamin infusions - if you believe that these things work, you will feel better. "
Simon Cowell
Better
You
Work
" If your lifeguard duties were as good as your singing, a lot of people would be drowning. "
Simon Cowell
Singing
Your
Good
" I don't think I can do this anymore. "
Simon Cowell
Think
I Can
Anymore
" Everyone who turns up on 'X Factor' does it because a door has been closed to them at some time in their lives, and this is the only shot they have got. "
Simon Cowell
Got
Everyone
Door
" If you only ever heard Lady Gaga, she's the most boring singer in the world. "
Simon Cowell
Lady
Boring
Singer
" I met someone the other night who's 28 years old, and he hasn't worked a day since he left college because he's pursuing a dream he'll never, ever realize: He thinks he's a great singer. Actually, he's crap. "
Simon Cowell
Day
Dream
Great
" When I think of invention, I always think of America. You're always seeing ads: 'Have you got the next big idea?' There seems to be that spirit in America of inventions and inventors. "
Simon Cowell
You
Big
America
" The end of the animal trade would leave more time to trap or beat to death pop star wannabes. "
Simon Cowell
Time
Animal
Death
" I was 12 years old when I first realized that food could be hot. That's why I turned out the way I am. "
Simon Cowell
Food
Hot
Why
" I got good advice once. Someone said to me: 'Live in your money rather than look at it.' "
Simon Cowell
Live
Look
Good
" I think you have to judge everything based on your personal taste. And if that means being critical, so be it. I hate political correctness. I absolutely loathe it. "
Simon Cowell
Your
Hate
Judge
" Money brings you security and choice. You can make decisions in a different way if you have a lot of money. But when you have nothing, you have a naivety, and a more fearless attitude because you have nothing to lose. "
Simon Cowell
Attitude
Money
Fearless
" You don't go into anything contemplating failure, because if you did, you wouldn't make it. "
Simon Cowell
Did
Failure
Because
" It's not my habit to kiss and tell. I've never done it. "
Simon Cowell
Never
Tell
Habit
" I've had Botox, but then again pretty much everyone I know has. To me, Botox is no more unusual than toothpaste. It works. You do it once a year - who cares? "
Simon Cowell
More
You
Me
" In TV, film, and music there's a lot of snobbery, and I don't like it. I've never been a cultural snob. "
Simon Cowell
Film
Never
Music
" I think that by ignoring the show you're ignoring the audience who put you there. "
Simon Cowell
Show
Think
You
" The only people with power today are the audience. And that is increasing with Twitter, Facebook, and everything else. We cater to their likes and dislikes, and you ignore that at your peril. "
Simon Cowell
Only
You
Today
" Holding auditions in front of an audience is testing. "
Simon Cowell
Testing
Audience
Front
" Sometimes when you have a record out, you think you're going to go in at No. 1 but you go in at No. 8. So your second record has to be better. That's how I treat it. "
Simon Cowell
Think
You
Treat
" At 20, you're cocky and you think you can rule the world, and you get it all wrong. "
Simon Cowell
Cocky
You
Think
" I probably get more satisfaction from making a show than being on a show. "
Simon Cowell
Making
More
Satisfaction
" I break up very well. I am a good breaker-upper. "
Simon Cowell
Well
Break
Break Up
" I don't want to tell a 15 or 14 year old what they should be doing. I want them to tell me. And that's what I got when I met Justin Bieber for the first time. "
Simon Cowell
First Time
Doing
Year
" I suggest we bring some normality back to this country and say if you are carrying a knife, there must be zero tolerance. If it was up to me, everyone caught with a knife would get an automatic ten year sentence. "
Simon Cowell
You
Back
Country
" I've never bought a Dylan record. A singing poet? It just bores me to tears. I've got to tell you, if I had 10 Dylans in the final of 'American Idol,' we would not be getting 30 million viewers a week. I don't believe the Bob Dylans of this world would make 'American Idol 'a better show. "
Simon Cowell
World
Believe
American