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" Suddenly you're like a pirate, you're 65 years old and you've got an earring. "

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" It's more fun in a way to do ensemble scenes, where you know your background, you know the scene, but you can't prepare because someone else is going to say something that is going to lead you off. "

" Comedy relieves you. A lot of times, we think we're the only people bothered by certain things. Then you hear a comic say, 'Don't you hate it when...' And it's, 'Oh, my God! Of course!' "

" The 'Tim And Eric' experience was very strange. "

" I never think I'm old enough to play someone's dad, even though I have a daughter of my own and a grandson. "

" One of the great things about kids is they haven't heard a lot of the old jokes. You can get away with the corny ones. "

" There's this whole underground world of amateur television production. "

" I had just done a movie called 'How to Beat the High Cost of Living,' and it didn't get a good review. And the same people sent me the script for 'Airplane!' for the Robert Hays part. I read it, and there were a lot of plays on words, and I said, 'I don't like this kind of comedy.' "

" I saw the 'Wizard of Oz' recently and realized that, all my life, I thought they were real monkeys with wings. That's how scary that movie was for me. "

" Looking back, I was a very good kid, very studious and all. But I would always come out with a quip - and I was sent to the principal's office several times. "

" Let me say this: I have said, any time, if it's Martin Mull, I will say yes. If it's Christopher Guest, I will say yes. "

" I just admire everybody and sit in awe and watch them. "

" I have great respect for the authorities. "

" I love sketch; it's my favorite form. But if it's all improv, they're either very good, and it's annoying how good they are, and it makes you feel bad, or they're not too good; then you're sweating for them. "

" I did a show called 'Lois & Clark' - it was about Superman - years ago. They wanted someone to play the president of the United States. The plot was the president got kidnapped by a group, and they made a clone of him, who was very irresponsible and silly. "

" My stepfather was a military man: he was in the Air Force. Reserve. You thought he'd seen front-line action, but he was stationed in Cleveland. "

" If you're a cheerleader, people see you. If you're a mascot, you're just helping out. "

" To a New Yorker, a 1948 Indians World Series baseball signed by the whole team might be worth only $200 to $300, but to a Clevelander like myself, it might be, like, $1,000 to $2,000. "

" I don't know why my lines that were cut from the film didn't make it onto the DVD. I have offered to go into the editing room with Christopher and work shoulder to shoulder with him to fit all my lines in. I think he thinks I'm kidding. I'm only trying to help. "

" When I started, there was a phase where I wanted to be a cowboy star. I didn't want to do deep, serious parts. "

" It scared me to death to think about improv, but I got hired for a year at Second City in Chicago, which made me nervous, but I found I could improvise. Then I was in a group called the Ace Trucking Company, which we'd do, like, a half hour set of material, then open up for improvisation. "

" I once was in a project. They were going to do a remake. Somebody started a rumor I wanted more money. I said, 'This is ridiculous. I'd kill for this project!' "

" I've found over the years that for some reason, people either are big fans and have to use me, or they don't quite understand what I'm doing. "

" All America is familiar with the Yankee-Dodger-Giant trivia, but so many other teams had great moments. "

" I first became interested in 'great moments' when I read about the famous Feller-to-Boudreau pickoff play in the 1948 World series. "

" I'd love to have Burt Reynolds' career. "

" It's such a pleasure to work in these movies, it's almost like it's not really happening. "

" I never got any advice in acting. "

" If you're not doing something right, you can feel it on stage, and if it isn't going well, the audience will tell you. A teacher can teach you sense memory and this and that, but until you get in front of an audience, you don't really feel it. "

" I guess it's from going to Virginia Military Institute. I'm a good person to follow orders. "

" I've always wanted to be on a soap opera. "