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" One of the first shows I ever did was 'Laverne & Shirley.' I played this sleazy guy that came into town with a friend and was going to date Laverne and Shirley, but we really wanted to get into the bowling alley because it was next to the bank we wanted to rob. "

Fred Willard

Friend

Guy

Going

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" It's such a pleasure to work in these movies, it's almost like it's not really happening. "

" When we need a policeman, God bless 'em, they're there. But, if you're in the wrong place at the wrong time, everything seems suspicious. "

" Bob Balaban is so perfect that the first movie I did with him, I couldn't talk to him because I was so intimidated by him. "

" If you're not doing something right, you can feel it on stage, and if it isn't going well, the audience will tell you. A teacher can teach you sense memory and this and that, but until you get in front of an audience, you don't really feel it. "

" The 'Tim And Eric' experience was very strange. "

" My first improv was Second City in Chicago. Before that, I worked at - with a partner, doing comedy sketches. "

" I had just done a movie called 'How to Beat the High Cost of Living,' and it didn't get a good review. And the same people sent me the script for 'Airplane!' for the Robert Hays part. I read it, and there were a lot of plays on words, and I said, 'I don't like this kind of comedy.' "

Fred Willard

Good

Done

" The witch in 'Snow White' is a very scary image. "

" I've found over the years that for some reason, people either are big fans and have to use me, or they don't quite understand what I'm doing. "

Fred Willard

Reason

People

" I have a guy who does my hair. He's a car nut. And he was taking motorcycle lessons. And, what was my point? "

" I think everyone has a door in their brain that says, 'Do not exit here.' If you go past it, you'll find all the dumb thoughts in there, all the stupid things that shouldn't be said. I've probably gone there more than anyone should in a given lifetime. "

" After working with Wayne Brady, Colin Mochrie, and Jonathan Mangum, I said, 'I am never going to talk about improv again.' "

" I saw the 'Wizard of Oz' recently and realized that, all my life, I thought they were real monkeys with wings. That's how scary that movie was for me. "

" I just admire everybody and sit in awe and watch them. "

" I've never crossed over to be a big star. I'd like to be in a big $100 million movie, though. 'Cause I was in an 'Austin Powers,' I think I had two lines, and every once in a while, I get a check, a really nice check, for that movie. "

" People still quote my lines from 'Best in Show.' "

" A great director is someone who makes you feel like you're moving forward. "

" I first became interested in 'great moments' when I read about the famous Feller-to-Boudreau pickoff play in the 1948 World series. "

" Looking back, I was a very good kid, very studious and all. But I would always come out with a quip - and I was sent to the principal's office several times. "

" There's this whole underground world of amateur television production. "

" I've always wanted to be on a soap opera. "

" I like the characters that have some redeeming quality or if it's interesting to me in any way. "

Fred Willard

Interesting

Way

" One of the great things about kids is they haven't heard a lot of the old jokes. You can get away with the corny ones. "

" Someone I've always admired is Catherine O'Hara... I think she's one of the best actresses in the country, not only comedy. I just think she's just a step aside from everybody, she's just wonderful. "

" My father passed away when I was 12, so it was very difficult. But I was always the class clown. I don't know why - maybe as an escape. But then I was sent away to military prep school. "

" If I like a movie, I see no reason not to go back for Parts 2, 3, 4, etc. "

" I guess if you're a professional mascot, you're doing it for the money, but a college mascot just wants to be out there. "

" There's different kinds of improv. There's Second City improv where you try to slowly build a nice sketch. There's stuff you do in college coffee houses where you just go joke, joke, joke. Bring another funny character with a funny hat on his head. Christopher Guest is more the line of trying to get a story out. "

" Comedy always came easier for me. But I would have loved to have been an action hero. "

Fred Willard

Hero

Comedy

" I loved Bob Hope and the way he would turn to the camera and break the fourth wall. "