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" To me, growing old is great. It's the very best thing - considering the alternative. "

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" I'm a frustrated stand-up comic. If you hand me a microphone and I get one laugh, then I'll go on for 20 minutes. "

" A lot of movie stars are not great actors; they're just very good-looking. And when they start to age and they don't have the looks any more, then it's over. "

" A lot of my best parts I've been the second choice for, so you never get too egotistical about anything. "

" Save your money. You're going to need twice as much money in your old age as you think. "

" Presenting the Oscars was the most nerve-racking job I have ever done in show business. It's very much a live show: they have comedy writers waiting in the wings, and as you come off between presentations, they hand you an appropriate gag to tell. "

" My closest friends are Roger Moore, who is an actor, Sean Connery, who is an actor, Terry O'Neill, who is a photographer, Johnny Gold, who was the boss of Tramp, and Leslie Bricusse, who is a composer. "

" I won an Academy Award for 'The Cider House Rules,' playing an American. "

" Comedy is underrepresented in every actor's life, because it's so bloody difficult to write. "

" I feel like 35. At 35 you're old enough to know something and young enough to look forward to what you can do with the knowledge. So I stayed at 35! "

" English is clipped in speech. Texas is exactly the opposite. "

" I prefer to remake flops. Dirty Rotten Scoundrels was a remake of a flop, and The Quiet American is a remake of a flop. "

" Oh, what a shock. My career must be slipping. This is the first time I've been available to pick up an award. "

" I was born Maurice Joseph Micklewhite. Imagine signing that autograph! You'd get a broken arm. So I changed my name to Michael Caine after Humphrey Bogart's 'The Caine Mutiny,' which was playing in the theater across from the telephone booth where I learned that I'd gotten my first TV job. "

" The absent are never without fault. Nor the present without excuse. "

" I usually control the environment I'm in, but my control is very quiet and subtle. "

" The standing ovation threw me... to be held in such regard in a town so full of talent is quite something. "

" I am often asked which of my films has come closest to my own ideal of performance, and I always answer, 'Educating Rita.' "

" You cannot have one bathroom. And it don't matter how much you love your wife and everything, 'cause you wind up with no room at all. You just get a little corner, and you've got a toothbrush and your paste and a shaving brush and a razor. "

" I try to make everyone around me feel comfortable. "

" I've always loved reprehensible people because they're so much more interesting to play on screen. "

" Hollywood is a cross between a health farm, a recreation center and an insane asylum. It's a company town, and I happen to like the company! "

" What a lot of people don't realize about gangs, in my opinion, is that a gang is not there to attack you. Eighty percent of the people in a gang are there to stop anyone from attacking them. You join a gang for protection, not to go out and hit someone. "

" Movie acting is about covering the machinery. Stage acting is about exposing the machinery. In cinema, you should think the actor is playing himself, if he's that good. It looks very easy. It should. But it's not, I assure you. "

" I've made the transition from star to character actor and I'm thoroughly enjoying it. "

" Obsession is a young man's game, and my only excuse is that I never grew old. "

" If you go away on location for three months and your wife stays at home, you've made a whole new load of friends and she's made a whole new load of friends and you get home and you're kind of strangers. "

" My own mentality is that I've retired. They send me these scripts and if I absolutely have to do it, then I go to work. "

" You have to remember, I never became successful or wealthy till I was 30. "

" I'm always slightly envious of people who become extremely rich without anyone knowing who the hell they are, like financiers. "

" When you reach the top, that's when the climb begins. "